Vibrant

I suck at running.

2009-02-06T09:01:00.001-08:00

So I just completed a 4-week Boot Camp with the fabulous ladies at Alavie Fitness. Let me just say they kicked my booty! They don't call it "Boot Camp" for nothing.

Four weeks ago, I signed myself up for a 6:30am class. When I arrived for my first day of class, it was dark. And cold. And dark. I thought to myself, "What the heck have I gotten myself into?" My butt got kicked. Seriously. Totally. Ubiquitously. I sweat, a lot. At the end of the workout my head was steaming, literally. But it was worth it. I felt energized. It's counter-intuitive...but go with it.

Basically, I'm just glad I survived all four weeks. We did a ton of drills, little hurdles, circuits, weights, and...RUNNING. I suck at running. I have and I'm pretty sure I always will. Ok, so I think I suck a little less now, but still. Running will never be something I do for fun. I'm so glad I didn't pass out while running! Because I totally felt like I was going to. Serious props to all you runners out there. I bow down to your talent in running. I blame it on my short legs. Long torso + short legs = not built for running. Alright, enough excuses. We did a fit test at the beginning and I had to run the mile, like in high school. After four weeks, I improved my time by 1:10! I was just wishing for like 10 seconds, so I was stoked with 1 minute and 10 seconds!

What's kind of sad is that today was my last day and the workout felt harder than all the other days! But I'm thinking that it was probably due to the fact that I've been having a gnarly allergy flair up due to the change in weather and early blooming season. Seriously, these sinus headaches and post-nasal drip action are super annoying.

However, I do feel like my endurance has improved. I can do REAL push ups now! I thought that I couldn't (well I think that's because I was just lazy), but when you are surrounded by other women - some at the same level as me, some older in age, some at an amazing fitness level - I feel like I'm pushed by the little voice in my head that keeps saying, "Don't let that old lady show you up!" Oh, did I mention that the little voice is super competitive? Again, I bow down to all the ladies in my class who kicked my butt consistently over the last four weeks, running in much better form than I. But I can do real push ups, improved the plank, and I realized that I can run.

Probably the most humbling experience during the past four weeks has been the realization that I CAN run. I don't love it. I'm not good at it. But I have the ability to do so. I'm thankful that I can run, I'm in good health, surrounded by family and friends, blessed to have a wonderful fiance, and the perspective to acknowledge those gifts. I'm forever grateful.

So to anyone who's wondering...YES, I definitely recommend doing a boot camp. YES, it's hard, but you'd be amazed at how much you can accomplish. YES, I am sore (still currently am). YES, I really woke up at 5am 3 days a week for a 6:30am workout. YES, I would do it again.

I probably will as the wedding approaches t-minus 3 months. That means April.

Vote for me!

2009-01-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

So I enter contests with the thought that I probably won't win. But I guess I have some luck. I once won the pumpkin carving contest at work, $50! I won the drawing at the company Christmas party, $100! I won the drawing from F-Stop Beyond TV, $60 value! And I won a $10 iTunes card from Southern Weddings Magazine! I'm not trying to brag, I'm just amazed that I have won stuff.

I'm up for something again.

Southern Weddings Magazine has been running a contest since they launched their print magazine in January. It's a chance to win The Flip. All you had to do was take a picture of yourself with the magazine or a picture of the magazine on the stands. Well, I happened to be in Dallas when the magazine launched and since as the title suggests, it features Southern Weddings, it was way more readily available in Texas than California. So I asked Cent for a special trip to Tom Thumb (Texas equivalent of Safeway) and snatched one up off the shelves! I was all excited about taking a unique picture. I didn't really know what to do...So I lagged. I waited and the deadline past twice, but they extended it twice. So I finally got my act together and submitted a photo!

Here's my entry! #11 on the page: Flipping out for Southern Weddings!

Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you'd rock the vote for me, dear reader. All you have to do is comment with #11 at the bottom of the page!

Thanks and happy Saturday!

I bring a hair dryer to the gym.

2009-01-13T15:34:00.001-08:00

I've become one of those people. Yes, those. The kind that bring all kinds of junk to the gym to get ready for the day. I'll admit it. I'm one of those gym snobs who thought that getting ready at the gym was silly. Why not go home? Why show the world how you roll? Sometimes, it's not that simple. Well, I'm officially one of those people. With good reason, I might add. I had to. Either that or look like a drowned rat all day.

Personally, I'll take the hair dryer.

I started Boot Camp today. I thought I was going to DIE. And I'm not even talking about the working out part yet. Waking up at 5:15am isn't glamourous. I don't know how Oprah or anyone else in their right mind does it on a daily basis. I love sleep. In fact, I might even dare to say, I cherish it. Let me have my sleep.

Well, it turns out that my will power won out. I decided to sign up for Boot Camp with AlaVie Fitness as a way to jumpstart my fitness program in these last handful of months leading up to the wedding. I've been pretty good about working out, I just needed to kick it up a notch. Shock my system, if you will.

Let me tell you, Internet, I was shocked. And then I about died again. No joke. As obscene as it was waking up when it was dark, having to work out when it's dark and cold is just as obscene. I didn't know how the ladies who started at 5:30am did it. They were finishing up and it was still dark. But I decided that I had plunked down the money, so I am going to do this.

The workout itself wasn't so bad, and it was nice to be in a small group. I sort of felt like the fat kid on the playground because I was last finishing up some sprints and drills. I didn't care. That's usually how I felt in high school when we had to run laps for the annual fitness test. That's usually how I feel anyway, nothing new. I must say, however, this was my first boot camp and all the other ladies had been before.

"It'll get better" they reassured me. "Good job for just making it out here!"

As dawn broke through the night sky to wake up those who were lucky enough to be sleeping, we continued our work out. I'm happy to report that I can jog without completely passing out, as I have been doing intervals outside and on the treadmill prior to this camp experience. Let's face the truth though, I was tired at the end. I was glad it was over. My head was steaming, literally. I guess I was really hot and the air was really cold. Oh Physics!

Then, in pure ghetto-fabulous style, I went across the street to 24Hour Fitness (I do have membership and frequent it) to freshen up. And I busted out my hairdryer. That's how I roll now.

Am I looking forward to tomorrow?

No.

And.

Yes.

I'm not digging the idea of another early morning, but I'm stoked that I'm doing this. I'm facing whatever hangups and fears and saying "Take that! I can do this!"

Tomorrow is the Fitness Test, a la high school fitness test...

Wish me luck!

New Year, New Look!

2009-01-11T14:10:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! So I'm about 11 days late, but whatever. I just wanted to say that the blog has had a little revamp to go with the new year! Voila!

I will be posting my goals for the year soon! :)

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T17:55:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you have a fantastic holiday! It's my last one apart from Cent, woo hoo!

Tag, I'm It!

2008-11-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

So, because B-Rod tagged the world, here I go.
Rules

Link to the person who tagged me
Mention the rules
Reveal six quirky yet boring, mundane, banal and pedestrian facts about yourself
Tag six other bloggers by linking to them
Go to each of their blogs and leave a message letting them know they’ve been tagged!

Catie like you’ve never seen before:

The wrong year is printed on my birth certificate. Therefore, I have an amendment.
I hate it when people pronounce the word NUCLEAR as "new-queue-ler" (ie the outgoing moron lame duck)
I learned to read and write in French before English.
I enjoy sarcasm and petty gossip. (Awful, I know)
I have two dachshunds, Frieda and Walter the Farting Dog.
Pinocchio freaks me out because it reminds me of Chucky (also freaks me out)

Now, I tag:
Mercy, Jessica, Michele, Jen, Lydia, and Camille Elise.

Happy Birthday Mom + Goals Revisited

2008-11-05T06:47:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you! :)

Thanks to two blogging buddies, I've decided to revisit my list to see my progress.

Here it goes:

~~blog everyday for a month~~ (COMPLETE)
learn how to cook and ease kitchen anxiety
learn how to use Digital SLR to its full potential (getting there)
~~take better photos~~ (work in progress)
~~post photos consistently on Flickr~~ (work in progress)
~~go to the gym at least four days a week for a month~~ (trying to keep up with this)
~~try a new class at 24Hour Fitness~~ (have tried out 4!)
search for other job possibilities
meet my fiance’s friends
~~learn full potential of Photoshop~~ (as of May 2008)
move out of parents’ house (July 2009... 9 months to go!)
organize my bedroom
~~clean out my closet and donate unwanted clothes to Goodwill~~ (Completed, but need to do again)
~~purchase new or “previously owned” car~~ (woo hoo completed January 2008!)
have my friends meet his friends
explore major cities – Atlanta, Chicago, Washington DC, Seattle, ~~Denver~~ (found out Denver = not so exciting)
spend time in New York City
~~practice taking more portrait photos~~ (work in progress, check my flickr)
crochet a beanie for the fiance
learn how to surf, even for a split second
~~go to Vegas as an adult~~ (March 2008, and got engaged!)
go wine tasting, I do live close enough to Napa & Sonoma!
take a cake decorating class
~~design logo for future business~~ (currently being designed, working with graphic designer!)
take a ballroom dancing class
move out to Texas to be with boyfriend (to be with future husband! July 2009)
~~schedule annual physicals~~ (going today...)
~~remember to have car oil changed~~ (car reminds me now, how fancy!)
have extended family meet fiance
set aside money to donate to charity of choice
participate in Habitat for Humanity Project
look into the possibilities to PMP my job (Project Management Professional)
~~get engaged, and have legitimate reason to read wedding magazines like Brides, Martha Stewart Weddings, The Knot, etc.~~ (COMPLETE: March 1, 2008!)
~~shadow a professional photographer~~ (COMPLETE: October 18, 2008)
buy a house
design personal stationery
decorate said house and give it sense of style
finish painting room
take a cooking class
~~read at least one book a month~~ (been pretty good, have read a good stack!)
~~go to the library more often~~ (facilitates my new audio-book obsession)
go to Hawaii and reclaim summer color (going to honeymoon!)
document my 101 goals as completed (been bad at this)
plan fantastic wedding on my terms (IN PROGRESS)
complete my first quilt project – already bought the fabric!
go to the Philippines during Christmastime to visit family
cook semi-fancy romantic dinner for self and boyfriend. from scratch, without killing or making us sick
~~build photo portfolio~~ (IN PROGRESS)
~~visit the New England during the fall~~ (mostly complete, went to Boston in October)
~~buy a new computer and Adobe Design bundle~~ (COMPLETE: October 2008)
as a complement to completion of #33 and #44, apply to be a Bee
go on a cross-country road trip
~~learn more on the fundamentals of photography~~ (Always learning)
ride my bike around the park
~~go on daily walks when the weather is nice~~ (woo hoo! thanks Nike + iPod kit!)
lose 20lbs... if they can do it on Biggest Loser, I can too! (work in progress, lost 10 since January, gained back 7 lbs, sad, but working on it!)
start cooking own meals to make good on goal #56
visit best friend in Italy while still stationed there (don't know if this will happen, sad)
return to Lyon for Fete des Lumieres
write a journal entry everyday for a month
keep a food journal consistently also in efforts to make good on #56 (did this in January-March, then totally slacked off)
make a pair of earrings (or more)
clean out wallet and purse... rogue receipts be gone! (Constant work in progress)
spend the holidays with fiance’s family (next year!)
send out Christmas cards with photos of us

22 out of the listed 65?! Not too freakin bad! To me, this is truly testament to having your goals written out. I didn't think I accomplished this much, but wow! I'm super happy with 22 complete.

Nike + iPod!

2008-10-30T12:06:00.000-07:00

I decided that to make better on my goals to get my butt moving in the next 8 1/2 months before the wedding, I would invest in this cool little gadget. I bought the Nike shoes a while ago with the intentions of getting the little device. Well, months later I finally got around to it and it's awesome! So far, I've only completed two workouts, with a time goal, but I'm looking forward to knocking out goals down the road. Check out my little widget. When you plug the iPod into the computer, it uploads all the stored workout data to Nike.com. Easy peasey. I'm kicking it up a notch as we get closer to the wedding!

9 months to go...

2008-10-24T10:49:00.000-07:00

...til the wedding!

So it frustrates me to think that almost a whole year has passed and I have slipped back into my slacker tendencies. I started the year out great, working out and eating right. Then sometime around May-June, it all started to slip. I had made some great progress, and then I guess I took it for granted because here I am, ten months since the start, back to where I was in January.

And I know there's no one to blame but myself and lack of self control. It's laziness, I'll admit it. I was on a freakin roll in January, eating salads and lean meats and GOOD for you food. Potatoes are evil. Deliciously evil. And also are my downfall. It's all about self-control and free will, and while I'm big on snarky remarks...I need to get big on not putting food in my face.

With nine months to go till the wedding, I need to pick up the slack. The dress I ordered will forgive me only so much and I have about 3 inchese leeway. With that said, I have to pick up my lardbutt and stop being lazy. Step one: going to the gym on Saturdays. Fridays and Sundays are my days off right now, but I'm thinking that I need to do something everyday, even if it's just walking in the neighborhood. And I need to eat better. Period. I had this free test thing (who knows how legit), but basically it could tell that I don't get enough veggies, which I'm totally guilty of. Potatoes are not vegetables. Damn.

On a separate note, as part of my 101 in 1001 list I've been making some great strides. I have, however, been a slacker about posting my accomplishments. I'll be working on that too. In the last month, I've completed #34 and #50. Woo hoo! As a part of my portfolio building process for my future freedom from the evil clutches of corporate America gig, I have a blog dedicated to JUST my photography stuff. If you know anyone looking to have some photos taken for the holidays, engagement, portraits, wedding, anything really, let me know!

Vote

2008-10-02T15:31:00.000-07:00

Come on people. It's that time of year again. REGISTER to vote. Regardless of who you are or what you believe, if you want to make a difference, you'll need to get off your butt and vote. So register. I found this video from a photographer who posted it to her blog.

Thank you Tina Fey!

2008-09-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

Quality Comedy. Sadly so close to real.

10 months to go!

2008-09-18T23:53:00.000-07:00

So it's the 18th. That means ten more months til the big day. And yet, how is it that we are already half way through September? I though Labor Day was last week...

Mission Meet the Parents: Success!

2008-09-07T21:24:00.000-07:00

We just got back from a whirlwind weekend in Dallas. It went off without a hitch! (Is that the expression? hah). We ate A LOT, always a good sign of a great time. I'll be needing to workout in super SERIOUS mode, however, but it made for good laughs and a great weekend.

Big Weekend!

2008-09-03T14:44:00.000-07:00

It's the big meeting weekend! Our parents will be meeting each other for the first time. I have no doubt that it will go just fine, but I can't help but thinking of Meet the Fockers. Let's just hope the weather behaves itself!

I <3 Splash Mountain

2008-08-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

I found this photo and I just had to blog it. This was from our trip to Disneyland, our one mini-vacation this year. I love this picture because it shows the whole family having fun. We were too cheap to buy the $12.95 (seriously, what 5x7 Kodak photo-printer print is worth that?) but I did manage to catch it on the TV screens. My mom's expression is too funny.

Good times!

It's done. Well, almost.

2008-08-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

It's official, I've made appointments at two bridal salons for this Thursday. I'm excited and yet a little...what's the word? Weirded out? I don't know exactly how to pinpoint it, but I think going bridal gown shopping just makes it that much more real. I mean, the wedding dress is pretty much the icon of a wedding. You think, "Oh she's getting hitched." Without it, (plus rings, husband, and license) it's just a big party.

I've kind of been putting it off. Every time I talk to a friend who hears of the engagement news immediately jumps on the "Have you gone dress shopping yet?" train. Which is fine, it's a normal question, but my response has been "no". It's not because I don't want to, it's because I haven't had the time. And from what I hear, and if it's at all similar to trying on regular clothes, it takes some motivation, time, and effort. I'm making time now.

Well, Thursday is the day. We'll see what it brings.

Free to Succeed Tour!

2008-08-12T00:52:00.000-07:00

So I'm exhausted, but bursting at the seams with excitement and newly absorbed knowledge. I just got back from the Free to Succeed Tour in San Francisco hosted by the awesome David Jay and fantastic Jasmine Star. I totally feel like I got to rub elbows with celebrities. So starstruck!

Here's the bus:

What can I say?! Tonight was so awesome and enlightening and inspiring. Jasmine Star's story totally resonated down to my bones. She reminds me so much of friends from college and I loved her message of "Keepin' it Real". I'm all about that. She's just as real and genuine in person, as she is on her website and blog. I loved the insight into a manageable workflow, word of mouth marketing, and the super cool ShowItWeb and ShowItSites. It's also humbling to learn how DJ started - at $1,000 a wedding and is now at $15k. As an aspiring photographer and a bride-to-be I got to experience both perspectives, and I have so much more appreciation and realize the value of my photographer's work.
I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and approached them both after the seminar. Normally, I don't think I would have done that. I consider myself to be a shy person, but I was like, "When then heck will I be in the same room as DJ and Jasmine Star?!" So I did it. I stood in line, as if to get an autograph, and said my thank you's (THANKS to YOU BOTH!), and got a photo op.

Check it:

It's 1am, but I wanted to get this out while it was fresh!

Back in California

2008-08-10T19:39:00.000-07:00

I'm back from my 12 days of travel, and I think I know what time zone I'm in. The statistics conference was about as exciting as it could be, although it was great to meet my East Coast editors. They were great! I couldn't ask for better, considering I had no choice in the matter. They are true professionals with a sense of humor.

Spending time with Cent was even better. With three months of not seeing each other, it was getting kind of old. But as always, when we reunite, it's as if we hadn't been apart at all. It's great. We watched movies, ate some authentic Texan BBQ, and just hung out. That's what we do. We did go to the mall and decided that we want to get a Lovesac when we get a house. :)

My pulled pork sandwich

Why does my head look so much bigger?

Free to Succeed Tour

2008-08-07T14:30:00.000-07:00

I'm so excited to attend the Free to Succeed Tour! It's a photography seminar hosted by David Jay and Jasmine Star. David Jay was named one of the top 15 wedding photographers in the world and Jasmine Star is one of the rising stars in the industry, having only started shooting weddings in October 2006. From what I've heard from the other stops on the tour, it's going to be awesome! I'm so excited! Did I mention that? I even had a dream about it.

Mind you, I've only spoken to a handful of photographers, and all of that was only on a client-vendor basis. I'm looking forward to meet local photographers.

I'm determined.

Denver...

2008-08-05T21:40:00.000-07:00

I'm in Denver working my real job schmoozing with Statistics profs, I know you're jealous. However, I did have some downtime and wandered around the downtown area and got some decent shots of the city. Denver is definitely a pedestrian-friendly city and there is even a free hybrid bus that runs up and down 16th Street the main promenade of downtown. Before I head back to Dallas tomorrow morning, I'm going to venture over to the capitol building and stand a mile high above sea level.

I also discovered that there at 17 Starbucks locations in Downtown Denver. I'm not even exaggerating. I counted them down in the visitor's guide. I wonder if they will be shutting down some of the locations around here. Seriously, you can walk about 100ft and run into another Starbucks location. There's one right at the entrance to my hotel. 2 blocks down there is another. Crazy.

Travel Shots

2008-08-04T00:51:00.000-07:00

I really enjoy traveling. I was going through my photos as I sit in a hotel in Denver, and I thought, why not a post about some of my travels last year. I got to meet up with my good friends in San Diego, our old stomping grounds. I went to Savannah to meet my soon-to-be in-laws. I took my then-boyfriend, now-fiance to San Francisco and caught some junk on camera. I went to New York for the fourth of July with my cousins. And I watched as the sun melted 1 year ago from today on August 4, 2007.

San Diego

Savannah

San Francisco

New York

Dallas

I've decided I'm going to use my blog to showcase more of my photos. I went out this evening, it's been a lovely, balmy 80 degrees, and I shot the Millennium Bridge, LoDo (lower downtown), and Larimer Square. I should have those up tomorrow. Have to find something entertaining to do when you're in a city for a statistics conference. I'm going to go to the State Capitol, and stand 1-mile above sea level on the 13th step. Work travel has its perks.

Impromptu Photo Shoot

2008-08-03T09:52:00.000-07:00

I wanted to make the most of the day at Halfmoon Bay so I took my camera with me. On the upside, there were two adorable kiddie there.

I like kids, especially when they are intrigued by the camera and allow the paparazzi to shoot continuously!

Responsibilities

2008-07-24T09:29:00.000-07:00

So, I'm convinced that having a lot of responsibilities is overrated. To me, having to ensure sales and revenue is not something I want to be held accountable for. After sitting in several meetings, listening to others ruminate about making sales goals and meeting the magical Q4 number, I realized that I don't want that to ever be my problem. Yes, I'm held accountable for the projects that I manage, and yes, I know that's a form of responsibility, but making sales numbers, not my problem.

On top of that, those that do have those responsibilities, spend half their lives in meetings. The other half is spent trying to carry out the so-called "marching orders". Seems a little too military-ish if you ask me. "Carry out these orders, or you're toast." Too much. Let's just say that I wasn't ever cut out to be in high-pressure sales, or any type of sales, really. I know that the industry that I work in has a very different sales model, not based on pressuring someone to do something, but still. For me, the whole idea of "sales" is icky. Because what do you do if you don't make your number? In British vernacular - you become redundant.

Don't get me wrong, I'm handling my added responsibilities on the media front. I've had to do a ton of clean up after the boat load of "legacy" projects were left to wade through. I think I'm finally finding my bearings. I'm bound and determined to rock this job. There's just so many office politics that I'd rather not get mixed up in the mess. I guess that I feel that I know my place and role, which I cannot definitively say the same for some others around here. Alas, that's the way the corporate cookie crumbles. I'm hoping that having a new team (although removed on the other side of the country) will shed some new light and breathe some fresh air into my world.

I'm tired of the petty and clueless.

365 to go!

2008-07-18T12:05:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know that a full year is still a long time, but I'm sure it will fly by! Yay!

July 18, 2009. :)

Published!

2008-07-18T11:57:00.000-07:00

Check it out! Random and by chance, one of my photos was published on the BART website.

You can see my pic here. My photo is the first on the left of the lady pushing the stroller. Woo hoo!

Original is this:

After a little magic get this:

Thanks BART!

A Published Winner!

2008-07-15T09:47:00.000-07:00

Well, almost. In the last two days, I won a $10 iTunes card through comment contest on Southern Weddings and I was asked permission to publish one of my photos on BART's redesigned website. They are still currently working on the redesign, but my photo may be published there (someday)! Woo hoo! Who knew that snapping a shot of a lady walking through the Oakland Airport would amount to anything?!

I was really excited about winning the $10 iTunes card, because I just entered the comment on a whim. I didn't think I would win, but I think my secret Southern vibe tapped into the judges. Well, my mom is a Georgia Peach and Cent is from the South. I've never won anything online before. Very exciting.

In addition to the aforementioned, I also won free lunch at Kabul's, an Afghan restaurant in San Carlos. Business cards are good for something after all.

New to my WANT list

2008-07-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

So Nikon just announced their new full-frame sensor DSLR. It's more compact than the ultra pro D3, but has all the functionality of the pro DSLR. I think they are calling this their compact professional DSLR. I'm really excited about this release because I really like Nikon products. After reading about professional photographers and finding out that a lot of them prefer the Canon 5D in terms of a compact professional DSLR, I wondered if I should do the switch eventually. However, I tried my friend's Canon and in terms of the ergonomic and comfort quality of the camera body, it didn't compare to Nikon. My Nikon D80 is much more comfortable to hold than her Canon XTi. What can I say, I'm a fan of Nikon.

I'm excited about this release and hope that eventually I get my hands on one and continue to pursue my dream!

[photo from dpreview.com]

TravisHoehne.com in Full Effect!

2008-07-02T10:12:00.000-07:00

Our awesome and totally rad photographer has launched his new website: travishoehne.com!

Congrats Travis!

Fun Project #1: Save the Dates!

2008-06-25T14:19:00.000-07:00

As I keep finding more and more ideas for what to do with my Save the Dates, I'm almost overwhelmed. I have a general idea of what I want and I want to stay focused on the vision that I have. It's hard to feel unique when you see your idea translated and created by another bride. I'm so thankful, though, for all the of the wonderful resources online that brides have been sharing since the blog boom.

I love the idea of magnets, so your guests will have a constant reminder on their fridge of the upcoming nuptials. I also like the idea of including stickers for guests to mark in their other calendars. This may seem like overkill at times, but I think that if you send a Save the Date to someone and then an invitation, they have absolutely no excuse not to know when your wedding is. I would hope that this would cut out the "Oh I didn't knows" or "You should have told me sooner" or "I wish I knew ahead of time". That's the whole point of a Save the Date, right, to SAVE THE DATE.

Here's some inspiration from Melissa Jill, a Scottsdale-based photographer, who has a new line of Save the Date Cards:

Here is what I have come up with. I'm planning on maybe using these as the magnets and including another insert with information for our out of town guests. It's so hard to decide on just one idea, that I want to include everything! These are preliminary designs, with some others on the way.

Awesome engagement photos by our rad-tastic photographer, Travis Hoehne!

Mini-Vacation Here I Come

2008-06-12T13:22:00.000-07:00

I luckily get to miss marketing planning, also known as "hours and hours of boring stuff". Very intellectual, I know.

I'm going down to San Diego to hang out with my cousins from Montana as well as the local San Diegans.

Thoughts on the future

2008-06-09T09:22:00.000-07:00

I was reading archives from a wedding photographer's blog over the weekend, and her words just spoke to me so clearly. I was humbled to learn that she had the same fears and worries as I currently do about getting into the business. It's been a dream of mine for the past few years and the thought of working for myself has been very tempting. But it's hard to take that leap of faith and JUST DO IT. I don't think I'm quite at that point yet, but I'm getting there.

Speaking of a leap of faith, I decided to e-mail said photographer as an informational interview type thing. The worst that could happen is that she never responds. But my gut tells me that she probably will, because she seems like that type of person. I'm excited that I decided to just do it. The last time that I emailed a photographer was probably a year or so ago and I asked about how she started out, and she replied back, happy to be of help.

I still need to work on composition and lighting a lot. I've got a good hang on retouching and processing in Photoshop thanks to my class. I would definitely start out with this being a hobby/job on the side until I was able to take it on as a full time endeavor. I'm starting to looks a some lenses and thanks to borrowlenses.com can try some out before I buy. And they are located in San Mateo!

Jet Fuel is ruining my life.

2008-06-06T11:17:00.000-07:00

If it wasn't bad enough that gas prices jump every single day (it's not even easing into this whole $4 thing), plane tickets are even more expensive thanks to uber-expensive jet fuel. What used to be $220 on a good day to fly to Dallas on American is now between $350-$400 if you're lucky. It would be fine if all these prices went up, and my salary went up with it in proportion. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

Hmmm, I feel the beginnings of an even wider poverty gap. Rich getting richer, poor getting poorer. I hope this economy starts to turn around come November.

I'm still for celebrity socialism. Those who spend $30,000 a month on gas can help.

June is almost here!

2008-05-31T11:34:00.000-07:00

And that means ridiculous amounts of wedding related shows on cable TV. That includes the obnoxious Bridezillas, obscene Platinum Weddings, and other silly shows. It's about the only entertaining thing on TV this time of year since network channels have equally lame series.

I saw Sex and the City yesterday afternoon and it was a great kick off to summer fluff. The only thing I was kind of bitter about was that we had to pay for our own concessions. However, I think that was a better choice than having to sit through the movie with a higher up sitting next to me. Now that would have been uncomfortable...

Engaged!

2008-05-22T09:28:00.000-07:00

My favorites from the Engagement Photo session by the awesome Travis Hoehne. Thanks Travis!!

I love this action shot. I look bored. or mad...

Love this one!

My first and last time as a model...

Cent should get hired! Check that smile :)

Fun one!

Oh Mario Kart! I'm the defending champion... for now!

This one makes me laugh.

Awww.

Stopping some Texas Traffic...

I don't know how I'm going to wait another 365+ days!

Engagement post coming soon!

2008-05-17T00:45:00.001-07:00

Coming to a blog near you...Just got word from Travis that our engagement photos are ready! Woo hoo!

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T20:19:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers out there, especially my super awesome mom. If you've ever met her, you'd be able to see where I come from. My mannerisms, facial expressions, and sense of humor. My mom can suck just about anyone into a conversation and is well-versed in all worldly things. I love my mom and she's the best!

We have a venue!

2008-05-10T17:33:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited to say that we have a reception venue! After a lot of consideration of options and debating between this place and that, a decision has been made. We'll be partying and celebrating our nuptials at the Castlewood Country Club in Pleasanton. The sound of "country club" actually made me worry that it meant extra zeros would be attached to every price tag, but actually it's very comparable to other venues in the area. Without further ado, some photos:

The front entrance

The Lobby - so pretty!

The Terrace - great for hors d'oeuvres and hanging out

The Ballroom - lots of space!

The Bar - drinks and mingling

All is not lost....

2008-05-07T10:37:00.000-07:00

Good news on the hard drive front. Not all is lost. About 98% of the data can be recovered. Oh IT guys -- ye of little faith. (I'm glad it will work out, especially for the next person!) I thought that it was like this picture. Luckily I didn't really kick it around like some people tried to imply.

Oh Illustrator, how I enjoy Thee

2008-05-02T11:44:00.001-07:00

Since learning how to use Illustrator last Fall, it has been one of my favorite programs. It's definitely not a program that you can figure out on your own. At least not for me. I definitely needed instruction. Well, 18 weeks later and $60 down the road, I'm now well-versed in Illustrator. I wouldn't say I'm an expert by any means, but I can come up with a thing or two.

I started to mock up our invitations, mostly to get the gears turning, but here's what I came up with today. Luckily I have the CS2 suite from work, and I'm planning on the CS3 suite which I get a sweet deal on thanks to my class!

It looks a little off since I took trim size and bleed zones into account. (Terms I learned this past week in my Photoshop class). But I'm pretty sure we're agreed on the brown/blue color scheme, which I thought we could carry onto the invitations. This is totally NOT a final version or anything like that, just an idea. More to come!

Reception Venue Update

2008-05-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

I think we've (I've) decided!

Sunol Valley Golf Club was our first choice, but they are booked for both of our potential dates. Now that we have a confirmed date, that place is totally out of the running.

Wedgewood Banquets seemed like a good deal, but my inner control freak couldn't come to grips with not being able to choose my vendors. Not to sound like a bridezilla, but I want it the way I (we) want it. I don't want to be held hostage to chosen vendors. Easier, of course. My desire for control wins out. Plus they don't let you try the food. I find something just wrong with that picture.

I decided that I didn't want to have our reception at a hotel. I like the idea of the pretty landscape, especially in the summer since the sun will be setting a lot later. According to sunrisesunset.com, the sun should set around 8:30pm that day. So that ruled out the hotels. Plus, they tended to be overall more expensive, except that they give your guests a discount on lodging. Great for out of town people, no big deal for locals.

After our engagement session and the miniature golfing, I really liked the idea of having our reception at a golf club. It sets a nice scene for photos and is a lot more picturesque than the beige walls of a hotel. So it came down to two options. I felt that we should stay in the East Bay for it's relative distance from the church and the drive for all the guests. Plus, the East Bay tended to be less expensive than its Silicon Valley counterpart.

Dublin Ranch Golf Club is set in the hills of a newer housing development and very pretty. My main concern was the max capacity. I think we're looking at 150+ guests, but still under 180. They can hold 160 + dancefloor or 180 with the dancefloor outside. This could pose an issue. The wedding event manager is super nice and from the reviews I've read, very helpful.

Castlewood Country Club was probably the most picturesque location. Located in the hills of Pleasanton, right on the border of Sunol, it's up in richville. That was initially one of my concerns, that it was too fancy. But that's been dispelled after many round and cost analyses. I figured out that it wasn't that much more expensive and it would be on par with Dublin Ranch. The grounds are beautiful and so is the building. It has a nice cocktail area that leads into the ballroom.

After hemming and hawing over these two choices, we (I) decided on Castlewood. It's not finalized yet, but they do have our date open. And, in the long run, we won't owe fists full of money until next year. Time for saving some moola!

I will post pictures once I find them.

Engagement Shots, Check!

2008-04-25T11:25:00.000-07:00

We had a fantastic time yesterday with our AWESOME photographer, Travis Hoehne, shooting in downtown Dallas and the Speedzone. I can't wait to see the results!

It turned out that Travis was going to be in Texas for a workshop this week. Since Cent lives in Dallas, I figured it would work out nicely if we had our engagement photos taken where he lives, since we're having the wedding in California. Plus, it was unknown and new territory for Travis as he is from California and has had several photo shoots in the Bay Area. It was so fun!

We shot around the Dallas World Aquarium (also where we went for our first anniversary) and took some awesome action shots. ::cue Chariots of Fire music:: Then, we went to have some fun. For a unique twist on engagement photos, we went to Speedzone where there were also have the debut of Mario Kart for the Wii. We were able to borrow the Mario and Luigi hats from the Mario Kart people and Travis shot us while we raced. So fun! Then we played a round of putt putt golf, something we'd been wanting to do since we first started dating. Even though we didn't keep score, I won! I got two holes-in-one! It was probably the best round of mini golf I'd ever played. So many thing just fell into place, it was so great!

I'll definitely post some shots when we get them!

Sick + Allergies = No Fun

2008-04-22T13:36:00.000-07:00

I can do math. Simple math, as shown in the title of this post.

Well, it's been a hellish week and a half. I somehow jumped on the bad luck train and caught the flu, battled it, broke my hard drive, and got my butt kicked by my allergies and the crazy wind.

On the flip side, I did get a promotion at work and an office which I have personalized to the max. I held a mini sage ceremony (mostly me waving around sage incense that wafted down the hall) to expel all of the bad chi and juju from the office that was previously inhabited by a weirdo. I believe that it has been sufficiently cleansed and disinfected. I can start fresh.

I still have a raspy voice which I think is a result of a dry cough that started from my allergy attack. I'm hoping that once this week is over, I will be well again. I just want to get back to normal and start working out again (didn't think I'd write that!).

Keep your thoughts to yourself

2008-04-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

So, I've been hit by some bad luck.

I accidentally dropped the external hard drive that I work off of for all my projects. Yes, I know that I should be working off my computer and backing up to the hard drive. Apparently, I attend the school of hard knocks. Case in point. So when I picked it up to see if it was still working, it started to make awful beeping noises. I didn't even know it could beep. Well, FYI, it can. And beeping is usually a bad sign.

While my natural instinct is to go into panic and freak out mode, all of that is too much for me right now. Besides having potentially lost all the data that I work with on a daily basis, by head feels like it's in a vice. This problem is being put on the back burner for now. I'm hoping that our IT guys can salvage a couple of folders, otherwise I will be attempting to rebuild about 100 gigs of data. My life is fantastic.

Now, I'm going to only think stress-free, positive thoughts. I think that when even an iota of a negative thought passes through my head, it gets repaid in karma. I know it's silly to think this, but with my luck, something really bad could happen. I'm keeping my negative thoughts to myself, well, as much as possible anyway.

Feels like Summer...

2008-04-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

And yet it's only April 13. It's been a fantastically warm weekend and I've been working on reclaiming my summer color. My legs are sadly pale (for me) and have serious contrast against my dark denim Bermuda shorts. I saw a picture of myself from 2003 and I was super brown. Oh the days of walking to class and getting some Vitamin D instead of being trapped in a grey cubicle. Alas, it is what it is. Maybe we can migrate lunch outside, then again, with typical Bay Area weather, it might be back to 60 degrees by tomorrow.

The reception venue hunt is on going. Funny how we're contending with a couple in Michigan for our officiant. Oh well, I'm letting it go and then going with whatever we have. All I want, at this point, is a firm date so that we can book a reception venue. How about I win the $10,000 on Radio Alice? Then I won't have to freak out about the costs. But, then again, I don't really want to throw away $10k. I'd rather put that into a house or pay off some student loans.

I'm blown away by some people's budgets. I understand that it's expensive to get married in the Bay Area. But I don't think you have to spend $35k?! on 100 people?! Am I just cheap? Sane? Smarter than the average bear? (All of the above...) I guess there are those women who want to have the "wedding of their dreams". I feel like I can't stress enough that a wedding lasts for a day (a few days at most) and it's the marriage that has to last forever (or should). And if you spend your life savings on a day, is it really worth it? Will you be able to go to bed knowing that you spent (or your parents spent) more money on a day than a car? two cars? medical schools student loans? I wouldn't.

This isn't to say that I don't want a nice wedding. I definitely do. But I'm working with a budget. I'm perplexed at how desensitized I've become over the last month at reception site minimums and pricing. I'm still appalled by some of the pricing, and then feel even more sick when I see some of these people on TheKnot who are booking those places. I know how much they are spending. Part of me thinks it's awesome; the other part of me thinks it's freakin' ridiculous. I'd like to see some statistics on how many of these couples are still together 5 years out. I hate to be so cynical, but I think I'm being real.

That being said, I think my main contenders are: Sunol Valley Golf Club, Wedgewood Banquets at Metropolitan Golf Links, Castlewood Country Club, Dublin Ranch Golf Club, Courtyard Marriott, and Newark Hilton.

I like the idea of a golf course setting. Sometimes I wish we were having an outside ceremony because it would make some things easier, like no travel time between the ceremony and reception. Oh the decisions. If only we had a date.

And for Post #100...

2008-03-31T16:42:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've been able to commit to a blog for this long. The January blog-fest did help a ton. Anyway, here comes the 100th post.

Seeing as how this is my 100th post (woo hoo!) I figured that I should check in on my list of 101 in 1001. I've been able to cross off quite a few, some to my surprise.

blog everyday for a month (completed January 31, 2008)
learn how to cook and ease kitchen anxiety
learn how to use Digital SLR to its full potential
take better photos
post photos consistently on Flickr
go to the gym at least four days a week for a month
try a new class at 24Hour Fitness (Completed January 7, 2008)
search for other job possibilities (in progress)
meet my boyfriend’s friends
learn full potential of Photoshop (in progress)
move out of parents’ house
clean out my closet and donate unwanted clothes to Goodwill (Completed December 27, 2007)
purchase new or “previously owned” car (Completed January 11, 2008)
have my friends meet his friends
explore major cities – Atlanta, Chicago, Washington DC, Seattle, Denver
spend time in New York City
practice taking more portrait photos
crochet a beanie for the boyfriend (Completed February 17, 2008)
learn how to surf, even for a split second
go to Vegas as an adult (Completed March 2, 2008)
go wine tasting, I do live close enough to Napa & Sonoma!
take a cake decorating class
design logo for future business
take a ballroom dancing class
schedule annual physicals
remember to have car oil changed
have extended family meet boyfriend
set aside money to donate to charity of choice
participate in Habitat for Humanity Project
look into the possibilities to PMP my job (Project Management Professional)
get engaged, and have legitimate reason to read wedding magazines like Brides, The Knot, Martha Stewart Weddings, etc. (Completed March 1, 2008!)
shadow a professional photographer
buy a house/condo
design personal stationery
decorate said house and give it sense of style
finish painting room
take a cooking class
read at least one book a month
go to the library more often
go to Hawaii and reclaim summer color
document my 101 goals as completed
plan fantastic wedding on my terms (in progress)
complete my first quilt project – already bought the fabric!
go to the Philippines during Christmastime to visit family
cook semi-fancy romantic dinner for self and ~~boyfriend~~ fiancé. from scratch, without killing or making us sick
build photo portfolio
visit the New England during the fall
buy a new computer and Adobe Design bundle
go on a cross-country road trip
ride my bike around the park
go on daily walks when the weather is nice
lose 20lbs... if they can do it on Biggest Loser, I can too! (10lbs down!)
start cooking own meals to make good on goal #52
visit best friend in Italy while still stationed there
return to Lyon for Fete des Lumieres
write a journal entry everyday for a month
keep a food journal consistently also in efforts to make good on #52
make a pair of earrings (or more)
clean out wallet and purse... rogue receipts be gone!
spend the holidays with ~~boyfriend’s~~ fiancé’s family
send out Christmas cards with photos of us
get back to my happy weight
buy new jeans that fit well and are the right length (Completed March 29, 2008)
give blood at company blood drive (Completed March 6, 2008)
jump in a pile of leaves
make a snowman and/or snow angel
build a sandcastle
throw away old high school or college stuff that I won’t look at ever again (in progress)
recycle old magazines for same reason as above
flake out less on friends
complete a random act of kindness
establish professional goals
go to Canada – Vancouver and/or Montreal
beat Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii
attend a NBA game (Completed January 2, 2008)
get into Club 33 – hopefully we can get the hook up!
start personal ornament collection for my own Christmas tree
revisit Walt Disney World with the ~~boyfriend~~ fiancé – that’s how we met!
go to a day spa in Calistoga/Napa
get a professional full body massage at least 4x/year
take a yoga class
talk about money matters with the BF (Completed December 28, 2007)
participate in a Walk/Half-Marathon

I don't quite have 101 goals, and I also didn't share all of them. But here is a good chunk. Basically, I'm bound and determined to see that 2008 is a year of changes for the better, and the more that I think about it, the more I see that it is. I want to make sure that this wave of good changes flows through the 1001 days.

Stop living through hints

2008-03-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

If there's something that I have learned from living and interacting with my family, it's to not live through hints. I know I'm guilty of it. I know everyone is guilty of it sometimes. But seriously, it's so much easier to just say it and get it over with!

For those who are lost, the loose definition of "living through hints": those who do not directly ask for or request something, but rather ask around the situation with leading questions, without really asking for the task needing completion. For example, a typical conversation starts like this:
"Are you busy today?"
"I don't know yet, why?"
"Oh don't worry, I was just hoping that if someone had time one of these days, if I might be able to go to the store"
"I can take you today"
"Oh no, you don't have to go out of your way, just when you have the time."

Um, there's a simpler way of getting that accomplished:
"Can you take me to the store when you are free?"
"Sure, how about this afternoon?"

Done and done.

The best part of messing with people who only live through hints or suggestions, is ignoring them completely. Never finding the time. Never acknowledging the hint. It's mean, yet wonderfully fantastic, if you are someone like me. Just repeat to yourself "I don't live through hints". If you want something, say it. If you expect something, let it be known. We aren't psychics, nor are we paid to wear the crazy outfits or stare at a crystal ball.

The worst part is when someone expects an outcome, doesn't receive it, then complains. All I have to say is, "you never said you wanted that!" Again, I'm not a psychic. I'm not a mindreader. I'd probably be the next Miss Cleo if I could (not really). If you want a party, for example, ask for a cake, don't expect that one will appear. And when one doesn't materialize, don't talk about how your family doesn't love you. You never asked.

Life Lesson #452: Ask for what you want.

Dresses, Flowers, and Cake, Oh My!

2008-03-28T13:29:00.001-07:00

So to those who read this, here are some of my likes of dresses, florals, and cakes. Plus, what better way to spend a Friday afternoon than looking at wedding stuff.

We're a step closer to finding a venue, so I'm hoping it's a thumbs up when Cent is here next weekend.

I like how the mosaic maker cut off the models heads. They detract from the dress anyway.

Dresses (from theknot.com)

I'm liking the low to the table centerpieces.

Floral Centerpieces (aboutweddings.com)

And let's face it, I love cake, like a fat kid loves cake.

Cake! (aboutweddings.com)

Well then, it's been interesting

2008-03-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

Tuesday brought some very exciting news.

My prayers and wishes have been answered. While what has unfolded has left me without a tech project manager, there's really not much of a difference. He didn't do anything anyway. At least he didn't show any progress in learning anything.

Tomorrow I will be checking out wedding reception venues instead of going to work. An excellent alternative to formatting PowerPoint slides! Plus, it should get me closer to finding and booking a venue. I'm looking forward to finding a venue because then I will be able to think about all the other things - colors, dresses, cakes, etc a little more concretely.

So many ideas.

Again, more great things in 2008!

Happy Easter & Happy Anniversary

2008-03-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter! Hope everyone has a great day however you may be celebrating, or not...

I feel like Lent passed by in a flash this year since Easter is so early. The daylight savings thing came on Cent's birthday which is a month earlier than before. I'm no really sure if it's going to make a big difference in terms of productivity. We aren't all farmers anymore.

Happy Anniversary 2 1/2 years to Cent! That's 30 months, longer than some people can even commit to a car or an apartment. I guess that's 2 1/2 going on forever.

Hyper-Planner

2008-03-21T17:16:00.000-07:00

So this is probably the only time that I would describe myself as "hyper".

My coworker looked at me last week and said, "I can't imagine you being peppy". It's true, I adhere to a more cool, calm, and collected walk in life. Subdued even. Some check if I'm still breathing. Well, I don't get overly excited. I think it just takes too much energy. I like to get excited about things that actually matter, or I feel strongly for.

Anyway, back to the hyper-planner thing. Since we got engaged 3 weeks ago, I've been on hyper-mode to get things done. I started sending out emails and quote requests to vendors for receptions sites, photographers, and DJs. I want to get the big things squared away by this summer, so that the other details are just extras.

In that effort, I am taking a day off next week in order to view the potential reception sites. Luckily, I know where there ceremony will be -- my church in good, old Union City. Challenge #1 has been finding a reception site that is nice, but doesn't break the bank or cause us to start married life in poverty. I have a few contenders.

(courtesy sunolvalley.com/Bella Pictures)

(courtesy of Newark Hilton)

I'm hoping that after we see everything, we will be able to narrow down the choices, so that when Cent comes to visit he can see the candidates. I figure it would be a nice thing if he got to see where we would have the reception. I care. His opinion counts. I am a hyper planner, or as Cent says "Super Planner". I think that by July, I should have the big things booked. We'll see how it unfolds.

Late in the game?

2008-03-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

So I just discovered Google Reader. Oh Google, what will you think of next?!

This is a great way to keep up with the blogs that I read all in one place. And if I was interested, I could see the blog feeds that my friends are reading. Plus, it's awesome because I don't have to open 15 tabs to see what I want to see, or try and remember for that matter. (Right now, I'm working with 3 windows and at least 12 tabs each... a la wedding planning). Then it will link out to the blog when you click on it. Read what you want to read! So I kinda feel like I've been missing out. Have I?

Besides that, I've been steadily building my wedding venue spreadsheet, calculating costs, comparing packages, and trying to schedule appointments to rank the prettiness or ugliness of the venue. Let's keep it real. I'm not looking for a platinum wedding, but I'm not going to slum it either. Even in the Bay Area, there are ways to have a swanky/classy wedding without totally going broke. Cent and I are more up to speed with a realistic budget, and trying really hard to adhere to it.

And I'm thinking that I need to jump on the wedding industry train. Plan other people's weddings or take their photos or whatever. I'd get to work for myself (in theory) and make a sizable income (after establishment). Just a thought.

Wedding during a Recession?

2008-03-13T23:19:00.000-07:00

I came upon an article that brought up salient topics at an important time. How does one have a wedding during a recession? Clearly with everything going up, fuel prices, especially, the housing crisis, the crappy value of the dollar, among a plethora of other issues, the economy is not just fine. (Hear that Dubbya?!) I surely don't want to go into debt. If it comes down to that, I may as well go to Vegas. (I don't want that.)

The main points in the article found on DIY Bride are these:

Get your finances in order - Taking care of the usual things that financial gurus tell you. Get rid of high-interest debt, start an emergency fund, cut unnecessary spending, figure out a plan, and dialog with your fiance about money!
Be wedding smart - Prioritize what's important, don't spend your entire budget just because, don't go into debt from your wedding, choose venues and vendors wisely, don't count on outside sources for funding (duh!), get everything in writing, scale back, and DIY - Do It Yourself.

I'm definitely going to try and keep these things in mind. I'm working on getting rid of credit card debt (almost there!), I have an emergency stash, spending is going to take a vacation, and I have been talking to my fiance about money. We don't want to start our lives together in the negative, especially when we want to buy a house. A wedding (aka a big party) isn't worth all that strife in my opinion. It is what it is, a big party. I do want a party, but within reason. A house and a secure life is much more appealing.

I foresee a bunch of DIY projects to come!

Flowery Inspiration

2008-03-08T00:24:00.000-08:00

Now that it's official, it's time for a little inspiration. Ever since we announced that we were engaged, I've been getting questions right and left about different parts of the wedding. Honestly, I've never envisioned my dream wedding. I've thought about it here and there, but I've never said I want orchids and hydrangeas with a big pink cake... or whatever. Frankly, at one point I wasn't even sure if I'd ever have a boyfriend. Well, mission accomplished! :)

The time has come to start thinking about all these things. I have a legitimate reason to get lost on wedding websites and stare at all the pretty pictures. I can spend my time discussing wedding-related stuff at work with the girls. And I do enjoy watching wedding shows on TV - Platinum Weddings (for the wedding I'll never have), Bridezillas in small doses (for the person I never want to be), and Rich Bride Poor Bride (for the look on the planners' faces).

I was on the Knot, and found some bouquets that I liked. I don't know if this is necessarily what I want, but I do think that they are beautiful arrangements!

(all images from The Knot)

We're Engaged!

2008-03-03T23:32:00.000-08:00

After a roller coaster ride of emotions over the last week and a half, I'm so happy to announce that we're engaged!

When one of my co-workers joked that I would come back from Las Vegas engaged, I simply laughed like she had told a funny story. I didn't think that he would do it then, given the certain stipulations and circumstances. I wasn't sure when he was going to ask, because he made it clear that it would be a surprise. One thing was certain: I was ready.

We had tickets to see Ka on Saturday night. He said that he wanted to give me my birthday present. I said, "Okay." Then he wrapped his arms around me and told me how much he loved me and that he really did care about me. With that, he said, "I don't have anything else left to give you but my heart." Then he reached into his pocket. It was a very surreal moment because I thought I knew what he was doing, but a part of me didn't believe what was happening. He got down on one knee and asked, "Will you marry me?" Joy. Gladness. "Yes!" Smiles. Hugs. Kisses. No tears. Pure elation.

We broke the news to our parents, with positive responses. So now begins the "fun" part -- planning a wedding without going broke. If there's anything that I've learned from the examples of others, it's that it's not about the wedding; it's about the marriage. The partnership. The good, the bad, the ups, and the downs. It's about the challenges that make your bond that much stronger. Just like Polident. The wedding lasts a day. The marriage lasts a lifetime (at least if it's right, it should!)

It's been a busy day of announcing our happy news! More great things to come in '08!

25...

2008-02-23T23:18:00.000-08:00

is a good year.

I remember when I thought that 25 was old. It marked the quarter-century of life, and when you put it in those terms, that sounds pretty significant. In the middle ages, it would be an accomplishment to have made it this far. Well, I have made it this far, and I am realizing that this isn't the end, but the beginning.

I pushed myself through one of the hardest conversations I've had to date. It turns out that I my sense of worry was on overdrive for no reason. Nonetheless, I'm so thankful for staying true to my goals and being fearless. There's no doubt that I could have taken the coward's way out, but I sucked it up. I told my mom that he is "the One". Seems a little ridiculous to be flipping out over such a happy sentiment? After the fact that how I felt.

But now I have the opportunity to continue this year checking off goals right and left. Confronting my fear and completing a goal has given me a huge sense of satisfaction. There's nothing quite like the anxiety that can build from the unknown. I worked myself into a major tizzy, only to come to find out that it was so not a big deal. I do think, however, that my bravery was fueled by the confidence of others -- friends -- who believed that I could do it and reiterations that it wouldn't be that bad. Thanks friends!

Today is my birthday. I feel like it's the beginning of the best time of my life. I've never felt better, I'm making progress on several of the things I've set out to do, and I'm happy. I'm living. The way that I want to. I knew that 2008 would prove to be different.

Thanks to all my friends from all walks of life who came to my birthday dinner at Banana Leaf!

Finding my inner Crafty Goddess

2008-02-22T14:38:00.000-08:00

Back in December I bought enough fabric to make a quilt. I have yet to start on it. Free time is hard to come by these days.

Well, I've been inspired by a couple of things that I've found on the nifty blog, Sew, Mama, Sew! First, it was a cute apron in nice bold fabrics.
The pattern is simple, yet flattering, and would look good on several body types. And it's reversible! Who doesn't love two looks in one? It just made me want to sew! I haven't sewn anything, really, since probably freshman year in high school.

Next, this bag.

I love bags. One that is totally custom is right up my alley. Plus, I love the bold colors and although it is not leather, it way cheaper than some of those high-end purses. A great and simple tote.

Finally, this other Flea Market Bag. This was created by CaRho, found on The Fruid's Forest, and featured on Sew, Mama, Sew! I love it's versatility with bold patterns and fabrics. I suppose half the game is choosing what fabric to use.

So I think these moments of fabric and craft envy are going to get me in front of the sewing machine post haste. My mom has a sewing machine that gets semi-frequent use. I'm sure it could use a little love from me.

I've gotten a handle on crocheting and I'm trying to up the ante with new patterns. I'm by no means an expert. But I'm also thinking that I'll dabble in fabrics and construct a few more bags and purses for my collection. These would also make great gifts! Personal, custom gifts.

So many ideas!

Happy Commercialized Wear Red and Eat Chocolates Day!

2008-02-13T16:35:00.001-08:00

There doesn't need to be a special day to say, "I love you." If you mean it, you should say it everyday, without haste, to show the one you love how you really feel. It's important to have that line of communication open. It's not about the flowers, chocolate, or stuffed animals who sing. It's about the sentiment behind all of it. Sentiments that can be shared with or without a special day devoted to it. Of course, I understand that sometimes people feel as though they need the special day, to test that special someone, questioning, "Does he really love me?" But if one is questioning such an important declaration, it shouldn't even be said. Say it when you're sure. Say it when you really mean it from the deepest depths of your being.

I think people today take saying "I love you" a little too lightly. If you really love someone, it shouldn't be thrown around like a ragdoll. For example, the Bachelor. How can you possibly fall in love with 50 cameras on you all day everyday? How can you really say that you feel all that emotion? I think there's more pressure to fall in love, than there actually is real, genuine love. Love doesn't happen in a matter of hours. Falling in lust can happen in minutes. However, I don't think that you can truly fall for someone after one day. It takes time to find that deep, honest, sometimes ugly, but always beautiful kind of love. Your partner should know your ins and outs, your ups and downs, your biggest and silliest fears, your life goals, your story. And as you learn more, that love should strengthen. Love is not hearts, lace, and chocolate. Love is real. Love is messy. Love isn't the easiest. If love is really there, then all the details will fall into place.

"I love you" has become a replacement for a real commitment. Folks jump into a relationship not really knowing where it will lead, and often fear the word commitment. How can you say "I love you" after a month of dating? Do you even know the person's last name? Their job? The number of siblings they have? The basics. Do you anything more in depth? Their goals? Their fears? Their likes and dislikes? I don't think you can know love until you know your partner. When you know their ins and outs and ups and downs, and accept them for who they really are, that's love. When you find their quirks charming rather than annoying, that's love. When you understand their weaknesses, and praise their strengths, that's love. But I don't think you can say "love" until you discover most if not all of those things. Sometimes it takes weeks, some months, others years. If you truly feel it, you should say it. You don't need a special day. You should say it when you're ready. And while it may be the scariest thing in the world to put yourself and your emotions on the line, it may be completely worth it.

Happy Valentine's Day!

My Favorite Song...

2008-02-09T20:33:00.000-08:00

This is my favorite Jason Mraz song. My friend Liz insisted I listen to Mraz's music back in college. I was pretty much hooked after that. I was never able to go to his little shows at Java Joe's because I wasn't 21 yet. But I did still manage to go to 3 of his shows in one year. And I saw him at the Del Mar fair and in Orlando at the House of Blues. Come back to tour the US Mraz!

Staying Motivated

2008-02-08T10:30:00.001-08:00

My biggest and most difficult goal this new year has been to lose weight. Since I returned from Europe 3 summers ago, I packed on the weight I lost and then some. America is fat by virtue. But this year, I decided that it was time and have concentrated my efforts not only in exercise, but revamping my diet as well. It has totally paid off! As of this morning, I have lost 9 pounds!

This is more than I've been able to lose in the last three years, I feel like a big loser! In the Biggest Loser sense, that is. This small success motivates me to keep going, even when I don't feel like it. Logging and counting calories has helped tremendously, mostly because I can be a control freak, and this helps with my control tendencies. Exercise is totally second nature to me (finally!) and I have been going 4-5 days a week. I'm so pleased that I'm making progress. There's nothing more discouraging than not getting anywhere... (i.e. me in the last few years).

I knew 2008 was going to be great!

The Ash Wednesday Drill

2008-02-06T22:23:00.000-08:00

Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, the 40 day-long season of fasting and reflection.

The day started off pretty well, with the normal routine, breakfast, commute, work. Then something out of the ordinary happened. My friend gave me a call, hoping to meet up for coffee. Since I had not seen her since November, I thought, "Why not?" I set off quickly after lunchtime, planning to meet her at Peet's Coffee at the base of the hill from work. I made it to the coffee shop, only to find that she wasn't there. I received a buzz to find out that she was still at the dealership, ironing out why her car wouldn't start with a brand new battery. I offered to drive to her, only a 10 minute drive. Well, on my way, after exiting the freeway, I was stopped at the corner, right in front of a gas station. Then, WHAM. I was confused at first, and then I realized what happened when I saw the woman behind me in my rearview mirror. She was flipping out. She had rear-ended me.

We pulled into the gas station, and I got out of the car for damage control. Luckily there was no cosmetic damage. However, considering that I had purchased the car less than a month prior, I was livid. Then I assessed the state of the woman who hit me. Late thirties, early forties. Orangy-blond hair. Wrinkles. And she seemed pretty dazed. All she could say was, "I'm so sorry" and "But look there's nothing wrong!" I immediately stopped her to say, "YOU HIT MY CAR". Then she blurted the words, "I don't have insurance." Great. Fantastic. Way to improve my day. Then she said, "Can I have your phone number, I will call you, this will have to come out of pocket." I didn't really care where the money came from, but I did want reimbursement if there was damage done to my car. I asked her promptly for her phone number. Stupidly, I got distracted. I tried to call the number she gave me to make sure it worked. She did seem like she was either on some kind of drug or soon to be violently ill. She looked like she was about to pass out. Of course, I didn't have a pen on me. So the next best thing was my business card. In the jumble of actions that took place, she sped off while I was looking for something and then I drove away with only a phone number -- no name, license plate, or license number. Super.

I was so upset afterwards. I was mad that my car had been hit. I was mad that she didn't have insurance. I was mad that she probably was never going to call me and I was never going to find her. My friend called, and I told her what happened. I was ready to blame her, tell that if I stayed at Peet's none of this would have happened. When I finally met up with her, we sat in my car, lamenting and processing what had happened. Car accidents seem to have this weird way of shaking you up beyond what you ever thought you felt.

Later that evening, I attended the Ash Wednesday service to receive my ashes. I listened the homily from Fr. Jeff -- talking about how our sacrifices should have a positive impact, and yet also really be a sacrifice to where it really is a challenge. That made me think about all the things that I can be thankful for. Then I thought about what had happened and reflected -- I should be happy that it wasn't a bigger accident. I should be happy that I wasn't hurt. I should be happy that it was a tiny ding and realize that a car is just a material (though important) possession.

This Ash Wednesday, not only being much earlier than usual, has been different. I haven't set any firm sacrifices beyond giving up the snooze button and fast food. The snooze button is a sacrifice if you are me and rely on hitting it at least three times before waking up. I'm going to try and let things that anger me go and find more inner peace (I've been reading a lot of Body+Soul a la Martha Stewart). And recently, I've become more and more a believer that everything happens for a reason. The cosmic balance and karma and chi. I hope the next 40 days prove to be a learning experience.

Super Tuesday Hullabaloo

2008-02-05T11:29:00.000-08:00

I chose to vote.

I actually decided to vote in the primary election early this morning. Originally, I wasn't going to cast my vote in the primary thinking that I didn't want to get attached to either Democratic candidate and then have them lose. Then I thought about it. I can't complain about the state of the union if I don't exercise my right to vote. Amendment #19, thank you very much. So thanks to the Internet, I found my polling place and cast my first primary election vote.

America is ready for some big changes, and I'm ready to see those changes put into action. Talking about them isn't enough, actual actions need to be taken. I believe that we have some high stakes candidates stepping up to the plate and that it will be a tight race until the finish. Then there will have to be another big push once the nomination is granted. 2008 is full speed ahead.

Check out my cousin's thoughts -- mercybell.blogspot.com -- she's way more articulate about these things than I am.

Si, se puede!

2008-02-03T22:00:00.001-08:00

Pilates

2008-02-01T15:15:00.001-08:00

I tried something new tonight. I attempted Pilates after 24Dance. I'm no Yogi and I don't own a yoga mat. In fact, I've never even tried Yoga. I know the Downward Dog pose and Child's pose from basic stretching, but nothing beyond that. I've always heard about Pilates, so I thought, "Why not?"

Pilates was very different from anything I've taken at 24 Hour Fitness. The pace was much slower and concentrated on breathing and stretching. It was a refreshing change of pace considering I've been doing Turbo Kickbox and 24Lift and 24Set. A lot of the moves reminded me of some ballet stretches and everything was taken at an individual pace. Overall, I enjoyed the class. Now I'm looking to invest in a yoga mat. What conversion!

Like these available on Gaiam.com

I think I'll definitely be trying Pilates again!

#1: Victory is mine!

2008-01-31T15:43:00.000-08:00

My first goal on my 101 in 1001 list was to blog everyday for a month. I've achieved a goal!

This being my 31st entry, maybe I should write about achieving a goal...

It feels pretty good to be able to cross off the first thing on my list. There are a couple more entries that are still to come, but those were started on the days of their post date. It's been difficult to come up with topics to write about every day, but at the same time I feel inspired daily by random conversations or interesting finds. I never really know what I'm going to write about.

I think that achieving a goal enables you to move forward with more goals. Discouragement is the number one killer of goals. Goals are easy to set, but so hard to complete. We get distracted, discouraged, and then the goal becomes irrelevant to us. The key is to keep goals relevant and worth working towards.

Here's to achieving goals set forth!

Not a fan of the fake.

2008-01-30T13:43:00.000-08:00

Fake tan, fake boobs, fake smile.

Come on, let's be real.

There are so many products out there enabling one to be fake. I understand that sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures, but seriously, is it worth it? $20,000 plastic surgery. Injecting poison into your face. Lotions that turn your skin orange. Veneers. What about working out? Taking care of your skin? Tanning safely? Braces? I know that these logical fixes don't work for everyone, but how do the former items measure up?

I was watching oh-so-fab Carson Kressley's new show How to Look Good Naked and it featured a woman who was 37 and already had 3 plastic surgeries. She was prepping for her fourth. And she was still dissatisfied with her body. I thought she looked pretty great for her age, but all she could focus on was the negative and what she hated about her body. Even with constant praise from her husband, she zoned in on what could or should be improved. Luckily, Carson was able to improve her sad outlook on life and convince her to remember her positive characteristics, so as not to instill negative body image into the brains of her daughters.

There's a commercial on TV for Restalyne. A woman in the commercial states that she uses it to "fake her age, because her boyfriend/husband thinks she's younger". I thought that to be a horrible sentiment. How are you supposed to build a relationship on lies? Maybe I'm just taking the moral high-ground. Or maybe our society has just become so focused on looks and aging that we convince 30-year-olds that they need botox. Or that it's acceptable to give a 17-year-old breast implants as a birthday present. Talk about tossing yourself out of the running for "Parent of the Year" award.

Needless to say, I'm not a fan of the fake. Fake parts of people or fake people in general. Like today, a woman that I don't directly work with asked me a question in the kitchen today. "So you're an unofficial project manager?" I looked at her quite puzzled, and said, "who me?" She smiled with her very artificial smile and continued her kooky comment. Let it be said that she's NEVER talked to me before. And the only time that I've slightly interacted with her was when I "caught" her cursing down the hallway dropping f-bombs. Yikes.

Why be fake nice? It would just save a bunch of time if we were real. Of course in terms of job security, it may not be a good idea.

Hoops and Yoyo

2008-01-29T15:56:00.000-08:00

Whenever I'm feeling stressed or bored for that matter, I turn to Hoops and Yoyo for an immediate burst of amusement and hilarity. They always help make everything else seem inconsequential. Or as a former co-worker said, "It was all that would get me through the day sometimes."

I can't say that I've ever had it quite that bad at work, but I do love me some Hoops and Yoyo. I download their calendar every month to spice up my cubicle. You take what you can get, right? And if you go to www.hoopsandyoyo.com, the start page is bound to make you giggle, even a little bit. If you don't find it funny, then you must not have a personality or sense of humor. Don't be boring. Check them out.

There's also other printable stuff such as signs and gift tags. Although, I don't use any Hoops and Yoyo signs to indicate that I've wandered off somewhere, like some other ex-coworker who got served her walking papers. It wasn't so much the Hoops and Yoyo paraphernalia, it was more the fact that she'd hide in the filing room and read a newspaper, exercise and hang out in the windowless gym, or meander off to who knows where and have her Out of Office message on. She was weird. I'm sure she continues to be weird. Nonetheless, Hoops and Yoyo is awesome for a quick "pick-me-up".

I'm not a foodie.

2008-01-28T17:54:00.000-08:00

There are a lot of blogs out there for food lovers. While I consider myself a definite lover of food. I am not a foodie.

I don't get excited over a $60 burger. I figure I can get one for a fraction of the price and will be just as good. Maybe I have an unsophisticated palate. I don't think eating caviar or foie gras is something to get excited about. I wouldn't be able to give it a review. I couldn't describe the subtleties or the textures or the flavor. It just doesn't matter that much to me.

This is not to say that I don't enjoy a wide variety of cuisine. My current favorite is Malaysian/Singaporean. I eat sushi and love French food. I'll try anything once. Fancy restaurants don't impress me that much; I think I get a little sick when I see the price they want to charge for an itty bitty plate of food. I had a friend who went to the Paul Bocuse restaurant in Lyon, France and had a ten course meal. She also dropped like 500 euro on it. I'd rather take that money and travel. I think that you can eat well, but it doesn't have to be pretentious or expensive. As long as I'm fed, I'm happy. Don't need to win me over with overly gourmet food. Chances are I won't like it anyway.

The Happy Hooker...

2008-01-27T15:51:00.000-08:00

No, not me. It's my book by the Stitch 'n Bitch series. Only instead of knitting it's crocheting.

I'm not coordinated enough to knit. Actually, I think using the knitting needles gives me tinges of carpal tunnel. Anyway, I know some people who create fantastic things on their needles - Bethro and Jess. I found my calling in crochet. I find it much easier to wield a single hook than trying to manipulate two sticks. Plus, I have a tendency to pull things too tight, and thus enabling the carpal tunnel syndrome to creep up.

I've been practicing different stitches in crochet, and I'm finally getting the hang of it. Over the Christmas season, I cranked out 4 blankets -- two with the same pattern, but different colors, one with thick yarn, and another using 3 different shades of chenille yarn. The first three are keeping me warm until the Spring hits and I'm no longer freezing. The fourth blanket I sent to Italy to keep my best bud Maggie warm. That one took a lot of work and a lot of yarn. I will post the picture up once I find it.

My sister was the one who inspired me to try crochet. I think it was two winters ago when she started on a crochet project. Being bored and unemployed at the time, I thought, "Why not?" So I bought my own crochet hooks and some yarn. She had to teach me how to do the stitches at first, but after probably five or six tries, I finally got the hang of it. I produced a bunch of scarves that winter. I'm still trying to reproduce the pattern without buying the accompanying yarn! No luck yet.

I also find it very therapeutic after a long day of dealing with paperwork, people, and patience. It keeps my dexterity in check and also, in a way, prevents me from stuffing my face with junk since my hands are busy. My sister gave me The Happy Hooker by Stitch 'n Bitch Crochet for Christmas. There are some projects that look fun and challenging. Plus, who doesn't want to be an honest Happy Hooker?

The thing about interest rates...

2008-01-26T15:43:00.000-08:00

It causes your savings account to get its rates cut too!

So our economy is pretty much in the toilet. 1 sterling pound is worth $2.05. 1 Euro is worth $1.47. Stocks are falling. People are getting worried. People aren't spending as much money to keep the economy going. The unfortunate truth about the stock market is that it's mainly fueled through speculation and feeling. If it's fear, people hold onto their money. If it's confident, people will spend their money.

I understand that the idea behind "economic stimulus" program is that it hopes to boost the economy. By giving people "free" money, we'll be inclined to spend money we didn't think that we would have. Personally when I get a check from Uncle Sam, I think I'm going to save it and let my interest-bearing account do it's job. Especially since the APY went down .25%.

I can't wait for some serious change. Super Tuesday should be really interesting to see how our future as a country is going to look. When we hit the all time low, we've got to be able to rebound and restore the prowess of this country.

Money Matters

2008-01-25T11:10:00.000-08:00

I'm definitely one of those people who freaks out about money. I worry about if I will have enough and even if I will be able to retire. I turn 25 this year. Now some people may find this a little irrational, and other may think it's great that I have some forethought.

In order to quell some of the "freak out" storm, I've turned to a trusty website CNN Money. I've found many helpful tips from the site and links to other useful websites. I've also read a couple of Personal Finance books, including David Bach's Smart Women Finish Rich, Jean Chatzky's Make Money, Not Excuses, and Michelle Singletary's Your Money and Your Man. All basically advise on the same points: spend less than you earn, make the money you have work for you, and be prepared for the unexpected.

These tenets seem simple enough to follow, until you see your bills stack up. Then they start to seem a little more difficult to attend to. However, I have made these principles work for me. I finally set up an "emergency" stash of money that "pays" itself each time I get paid. I budgeted a certain amount to be direct deposited, and since I don't see it, it makes saving that much easier. I also set up an IRA to contribute an extra amount in addition to what my 401(k) already saves. Direct deposits are a wonderful thing.

I pay my bills online whenever possible, which decreases the paper trail and carbon footprint, while also making it easier to keep track of what is going where. Most of the time I'm pretty good about spending within my means, except for around the holidays when spending seems to go into a frenzy. As a general personal principle, I try my best not to carry any credit card debt. I may not be able to go out to eat, but I won't be paying 15-19% interest for letting the balance sit. Even with my meager pay, I make it work.

I also discovered a new website, thanks to CNN Money, called Mint.com, which allows you to log into your accounts and then it analyzes your spending and offers suggestions to save money. You can also compare your spending habits to the national average and averages from big cities. It's pretty interesting to see where all your money is going once it's laid out in front of you.

IMHO: in my humble opinion...

2008-01-24T23:09:00.000-08:00

I'm very opinionated. I'm pretty sure I inherited that trait from my mother.

This also explains why I can be so judgmental. I'm ready and willing to jump down someone's throat at the drop of a hat, if need be. I tend to not give people the full chance that they deserve. Did I mention that I often think I'm right? But I'm not overly self-righteous like some people that I have met. I have my opinions and I stick by them.

I understand the notion of venting. I know that it helps people process their feelings about certain topics and events, as well as enabling better self-expression. However, dwelling on a situation isn't going to fix it. Instead a solution needs to be formulated or finding some kind of compromise in order to move forward.

At work, we had a meeting with our Accounts Payable group, who is notoriously known for incorrectly processing requests and incurring major delays in paying vendors. Not exactly an ideal situation for those paying individuals and corporations under contract. I found the meeting to be mostly useless and more like a forum for expressing complaints and pointing the finger. While I admit that I would quickly point my finger at them, I do also think that all the blame does not lay with the AP group. Rather, it's a split. Human error and blatant mistakes. Plus a very high turnover rate.

After the meeting some people proceeded to talk about it again and again. Give the poor horse a break! I get it. People make connections by relating to each other. In this case it was the meeting. However, considering that I found the meeting to be so frustrating and aggravating to begin with, I wasn't in the mood to listen to more complaints about the same thing. I agree that the situation is aggravating, but hashing and rehashing is not going to get anyone anywhere.

In my humble opinion, talking about it once and move on! Save the complaints for real things, like wannabe rockstars and always-absent assistants.

Simply Recipes

2008-01-23T12:52:00.003-08:00

In my current efforts to learn how to cook and do it well, I've discovered a fantastic website - SimplyRecipes.com. I originally found the link a couple of months ago through an online search for my favorite salad in the world - Salade Lyonnaise. Although the recipe is slightly altered from the real Lyonnaise version I remember from Le Gros Caillou and other restauranteurs, it still does the job. Poached eggs, lardons, and a vinaigrette dressing? Who could resist?

Simply Recipes offers a wide variety of tried and true dishes that Elise and her family have actually prepared. It's a great resource for cooks and non-cooks alike, especially for finding dinner ideas or party dishes. All with delicious photos to stare at. Just browsing the pages makes me want to dive into the kitchen. (Which hasn't happened yet, btw).

My most recent adventure in the kitchen was during the Christmas season when I was baking up a storm. I have yet to venture into the savory dishes. I think that's what I'm most scared of. When I was 12, I tried to make some kind of casserole for a class party or presentation. It didn't turn out like the picture. I think that was the moment I became discouraged in the kitchen. The last thing I made was in 8th grade -- Deviled eggs. And I never tried one (maybe because I put so much pepper and cayenne and paprika), I figured I'd never eat it. Wait -- I guess I have cooked one thing well on a few occasions -- Curry.

I'm more confident about baking, but "real" food, is a little beyond me. I'm going to try it though. It's my new outlook on this year.

And just in time for SuperBowl weekend: diverse selection of chili recipes.

**photo from Simply Recipes**

Class starts!

2008-01-22T22:07:00.000-08:00

Photoshop 101.

I went to the first day of class this evening, and boy it was packed. Luckily, I'm already enrolled in the class and I don't have to go through the "add-list" mess. I was also fortunate not to have to share a computer with anyone. The class capacity is 19. 38 people showed up. I must have had my game face on.

I'm taking the course with the same instructor as the Illustrator class I took in the Fall. I'm looking forward to learning more about bitmapped images, since all last semester was vector images. Wow, I just read that last sentence and I sound like a design geek. I'm comfortable with that. I hope that I can call myself a "design geek" and produce fabulous designs.

My pet peeve, however, are the people who ask questions that were just covered. I don't mind questions that haven't been asked. But don't ask the same question that the instructor just uttered the answer to minutes ago! Hello?! Are you trying to show 37 other people that you weren't paying attention? While I wasn't paying full attention (I heard the first day spiel last semester), I was listening and looking out for any relevant information.

Here I go. New class. New classmates...

It's called your Wedding DAY for a reason.

2008-01-21T09:21:00.000-08:00

A wedding lasts a day.

But these television shows want to make it last a lifetime. I understand the concept of having your "perfect" wedding day, because that's what it is or should be -- a wedding day. With the rapid influx of wedding-related programming, bride-to-be's get stars in their eyes and false ideas of what their wedding should be.

Just because Britney Spears had a white-trash wedding, does that mean you want one too? Look at what happened to her. HOT MESS. Eva Longoria Parker got married at a castle in France, but I don't think my non-celebrity status will get me through the gates and bodyguards anytime soon. And I just saw an episode of Platinum Weddings where the bride's parents spent an obscene amount of money, and all I could think was "I wonder how long that's going to last..."

I don't oppose marriage, nor do I have a cynical outlook about the general institution of marriage. I believe that two people can come together, love each other, be each other's best friend, and live with each other until "death do they part". However, when there is a grand hullabaloo and hundreds of thousands of millions of dollars are being spent on one day, it makes me ill. To think about what all that money could have been spent on, and some spoiled couple get a day or a weekend of ostentatiousness. It's rather ridiculous. And it makes me wonder, "Are they trying to prove their love with how much they can spend?"

I've heard on these shows where the mother of the bride declares that she's been waiting for the day when she could plan her daughter's wedding. I think that if you can drop $300 grand on a day, you might as well buy them a house too. Then again, it is parents and couples with this kind of mentality that has grown the wedding industry into a multi-BILLION dollar industry. I would capitalize on that if I could.

Now when it comes to my own, sometime down the line, I don't want anything super flashy. As long as everyone has fun, I would be happy. I'm one of those people who'd rather save for a house and a life together, then blowing a wad on a day. A marriage is supposed to last a lifetime, and if you splurge on everything for your wedding day, who's to say that's going to last?

**banners from WeTV**

Job Satisfaction

2008-01-20T13:43:00.000-08:00

Does it exist?

I wonder to myself everyday if there is someone out there who can truly say that they are satisfied with their job. I guess I should qualify the term "satisfaction" with "happiness". Are you happy with your job? Does the pay suit your needs (not wants)? Do you enjoy who you work with? At the end of the day do you feel like you've made a difference? Perhaps those who are self-employed, who called themselves "boss", might qualify. But I really want to know, is there such a thing as job satisfaction?

"They" say that people of my generation are classified as "Generation Y". From Wikipedia: According to the book, Thriving & Surviving with Generation Y at work: , Peter Sheahan , internationally recognised expert on Generation Y, says it is essential that we look at more than traditional forms of monetary compensation to motivate the new talent force."They’re after a sense of purpose, work-life balance, fun, variety, respect, and the opportunity to do ‘real’ work that makes a difference. Arguably everyone wants these things from a job but the difference with Generation Y is they’ll talk with their feet when their needs are not fulfilled." I can see this. I may think like this at times. We're also considered to have the mentality of "looking for the next best thing" if our current job isn't up to par.

I think that I am in one of those lulls between being happy with my current position and wanting something more. More responsibility (maybe), more money (definitely), more respect (of course!) Unfortunately, at this company, room for advancement is on hold at the moment. I enjoy my colleagues and my boss is fantastic, but those things can only keep me for so long. Something is just telling me that "it's time."

So the question is do I take the easy route or the more difficult journey? Stay in the comforts of my cube (although I want an office) or set out to find the next best thing?

My Relationship with Food.

2008-01-19T13:42:00.000-08:00

I love food. I'm pretty sure that it loves me back, especially when it tries to get all up close and personal with me on my hips, thighs, and belly.

This year, I'm evaluating my relationship with food. I'm trying to become a conscious eater and think about what I'm putting into my body. My goal is to make progress this year with my efforts concentrated on improving my eating habits and continuing my exercise regime.

Growing up, we used to eat fast food after school. Since my mom had to work a lot, we'd have to stay in extended care, or as I like to call it, the Land of Watered Down Punch and Raisins. I came to despise little boxes of raisins after those years. So fast food was always a treat. I didn't know anything about all the calories that were packed in McDonald's Happy Meals or a #5. It all just tasted good. I didn't know that I was basically drinking pure sugar and then letting it develop into junk in my trunk by sitting watching TV. Looking back, I wish I had said no. I remember now why we used to give up fast food for Lent. It was probably the best sacrifice we could have made.

All through college I ate whatever I wanted. At one point I tried the Atkins diet, and I did lose 8lbs. However, as soon as I had my first delicious carbohydrate, 10lbs found their way back to my midsection. I studied abroad in France and ate everything I desired. But since I had to walk everywhere, sometimes miles a day, when I got back to the US, I had lost almost 20lbs! Without even noticing. Unfortunately, re-entry into Fatsoville, I mean the good old USA, brought on the return of those lost pounds.

Finally, now that I'm out of college and feel much more in control of my life, I've developed an exercise routine. Exercise has not been my stumbling block. It's all the food and appropriate serving sizes. I've belonged to the Clean Plate Club my whole life. It's only in the last few weeks that I've been testing my stomach and metabolism. I've learned that I can get by without all the sugar and fats. Eating one cookie slowly provides (almost) the same amount of satisfaction as cramming 5 cookies down my throat.

I love food and will continue to love it. I know I could never become anorexic. As much as I don't like being fat, my love for food outweighs starving myself. Like they say about everything, moderation is key. It's going to happen in 2008. Lots of great things.

Happy Birthday Stephie!

2008-01-18T14:56:00.000-08:00

Today is my sister's 18th birthday. We have this running joke about saying "Hi, I'm eighteen" in a deep, manly, "older" sounding voice. Well, now she can say it and mean it.

She reminds me a lot of myself when I was her age. Smart, quiet, good at math, plays the piano, goes to ballet, and loves television and eating. But I also think that she's probably the more kind version of me in high school. She has various groups of friends and is the head of the school's TV Station. She loves to cook -- I never did -- and is good at it. She is nice to other people and generally gives them the benefit of the doubt. I always (and usually still do) go straight for judgment. She's a level headed young lady, who will do great things in the years to come.

She wants to be a food scientist, mixing her understanding and preference of science with her love of cooking and eating food. She's inspired by Alton Brown, host and producer of Good Eats on the Food Network, and definitely kicks my butt in the kitchen.

I can't wait until she gets to college. Not because I want her gone, but because I'm excited for her. I think it will be a fantastic learning experience and huge step towards independence. She can be wishy-washy and undecided when it comes to making a choice or decision. The opportunity to live away from home will give her the necessary chutzpah to grow into the person I know she can be. Then, she'll just be the nicer version of me. Just kidding, she'll definitely be Stephanie, with her own voice.

Love ya sis!

Speaking of good food....

2008-01-17T14:16:00.001-08:00

I highly recommend the food at the Banana Leaf Restaurant in Milipitas. Their claim to local fame is that they serve "Authentic Malaysian Food". I wasn't sure what Malaysian food included, but I figured that it fell into the same family as Thai, Vietnamese, and Filipino food. Rice, of course, noodle dishes, and meat dishes with sauces of varying flavors.

I was excited to try something new. They start you off with a plate of Roti Canai or Prata which is a "crispy, multi-layer Malay-Indian style pancake served with bean curry sauce" for the entire table. I like to think of it as a Malaysian crepe. It's delicious. I think that I could eat just that and be totally satisfied. But of course I had to order a main dish.

I chose the Rendang Beef because it's described as beef with Malay curry sauce. I love curry. Especially Japanese curry -- that's the way my mom prepares it. It was splendiforous. I made that word up. It was that good. My sister had the Mango Chicken which was also very tasty. I don't think there's anything not good, although I haven't tried everything. The cuisine definitely reminded me of a fusion of Thai food and Filipino food. The curries and heavier sauces and the various accoutrements.

Since it was our first time trying Malaysian food, we also had to try the desserts. I had the Malay Pisang Crepe and I saw the Ice Kacang which totally resembled Filipino halo-halo. I suppose Filipinos do descend from the Malay people in part. Well, more scrumptiouness ensued. The Malay Pisang Crepe was a piece of Roti Canai/Prata filled with bananas and topped with whipped cream. Pretty much a Malaysian crepe. Can't go wrong with that.

I'm not much of a foodie, but I definitely give this place some thumbs up. The only drawback I saw was that it was super crowded, and turns out it always is. They do take reservations, however, for parties of 5 or more. I think the fire marshal might be a little nervous at the way they pack people in.

Go Banana Leaf!

I love cupcakes.

2008-01-16T16:28:00.000-08:00

Unfortunately, I can't eat any. Well, I suppose that's not entirely true. I can eat cupcakes, in moderation, but who does that? Clearly the serving size for cupcakes is at least 3.

Well, I thought I would give a little love to this wonderful bakery that I found in Emeryville - the Teacake Bakeshop. Also home to the delicious Chocolate Chunk cookie I had several months ago. I still remember that cookie.

They have wonderfully delicious packages for the any special or regular day - Christmas, Valentine's Day, the Spring, birthdays, etc. They only use the finest ingredients which I believe is why the "teacakes" come out so mouth-wateringly scrumptious. Did I mention they have cookies too?

One of the hardest aspects of being on a diet is the self-control component. The other day I had a serious craving for hot wings. It's been a while since I've had any. Also off the list. Today, my craving was for cupcakes. I figure that if I can't have one, at least someone else could benefit from this.

**photo from TeacakeBakeshop.com**

If you're going on a break...

2008-01-15T16:41:00.000-08:00

...you may as well BREAK UP!

Personally, I believe that if you say you want to "go on a break" with your SO/BF/GF, the relationship just bought itself a one-way ticket to Splitsville. I don't really understand the point of "taking a break". I suppose it's a way of easing the escape route. But doesn't it just make it harder when you actually want to break up?

Take the now "classic" example of Ross and Rachel on Friends. I think at this point, David Schwimmer's character has immortalized the words, "But we were on a break!" The idea of "going on a break" also has the male/female dichotomy of thought and understanding. Women understand it one way. Men another. Like Ross, on Friends, he thought that going on a break meant that seeing other people (and consequently sleeping with other people), was permissible during a break. Well, he was sorely mistaken.

I know of a few couples who have done the "break" thing. The success rate of them renewing their relationship? 25% Perhaps my sample size is too small. On the other hand, I don't think that it's too far from the truth. Usually, if the two parties agree to take the break, one of the parties may want out. Or both. In any case, why keep torturing yourself, and why not move on? And I don't buy the "But I love him" because clearly "he" doesn't love you back. And he won't three months from now. Or she won't two years from now.

I have never read Greg Behrendt's second book It's Called a Breakup because it's Broken, but the title resonates with me from my experience with friends. I don't think I need to read it, but I'm sure there are many out there who could benefit from a swift kick to the head with this book. If you're one of those people, BREAK UP ALREADY!

**photo from overdrive.dclibrary.org**

Just Do It.

2008-01-14T16:50:00.000-08:00

Sure, it may be a slogan from Nike, but it's my slogan for the year.

Now, of course I would not recommend this attitude for all situations, but for many situations, it works.

What I'm talking about is for those who say "I'm going to..." or "I want to..." or "I would like to..." in terms of a dream or a goal like a diet or travel or some kind of change, I say, "Go for it!" There is no time like the present.

2008 feels different to me. It feels like a year when I will enact change and improve myself on the whole. And I believe that this blog, this outlet for expression, will hold me accountable for my actions and accomplishments, and of course, obstacles. I suppose it also feels different because I am making it so. I've written down goals and resolutions. I have had the chance to read and reread everything that I want to do. Since my goals are for the next 1001 days, I also don't feel like time is ticking, but since I am determined to make a dent in my list, I will work on each one.

I've spent the last few years saying "I will". This year, "I am". New motivation and inspiration that I am taking to heart and moving forward with. Maybe it's because I turn 25 this year. Maybe it's because I'm in a crossroads of my life. Whatever it is, I want to make the most of it. I want to be able to say, "Wow, I'm glad I did that" instead of, "Aww man, I wish I could have done that". And in most cases, money aside, there's only one thing that stands in the way. You. Me. Ourselves. I'm going to be my own best friend instead of my own worst enemy. Do it!

Seize the moment and live life.

Another Resolution: The Anti-Flake Diet

2008-01-13T22:50:00.000-08:00

I can be a real flake. This year, I'm make a concerted effort to contact friends and hang out.
I will be less of a flake this year. Note: I did not say that I would NOT be a flake, just less of one.

I told my friends over the weekend that I am "selectively antisocial". I think that's a valid excuse. Sometimes I just don't want to see people. Sometimes family time overrides friend time. So sue me if I love my family. I get tired of driving. I get tired of overspending on dinners. And as sad as it may sound at 24, I'm totally over the "clubbing" scene. I'm not looking to pick someone up or be picked up on. No thanks. But I suppose it's a bad sign when your boyfriend jokes about you being a flake. Not because I flake on him, but because he know how often I flake on friends. It's kind of a running joke.

Well, tonight I've made good on my resolution so far for the year. Considering my state of brokeness, I decided that I would drive down to see some friends in the South Bay. It was a fun little reunion of us EAP kids (Education Abroad Program) and apparently they were happy to see me since I only see them every other time or every third time they decide to go out. I'm selectively antisocial, whatever. We had chips and guacamole, wine and cheese, and some chicken and salad.

I'm not selectively antisocial because I don't like hanging out with friends. I enjoy interacting with other people and catching up on their lives. At this point in our lives, we really have to make a big effort to schedule each other in. However, sometimes, I don't want to. Maybe because sometimes I feel like a nonconformist or I'm just too damn lazy or broke. It's true that most of the time I would opt for a DVD at home in comfy pajamas instead of bar hopping. the latter takes much more effort. If you're my friend you learn to live it with. You'll know even though I may not show up, I'll be there.

New Budget

2008-01-12T10:49:00.000-08:00

Just like the state, I have to rework my budget. I'm really glad that I created an emergency stash of money. I really needed it these last few days. And now, with a new vehicle in tow, I have to rethink my budget.

I feel extremely lucky to not have to pay rent to my parents. I know that some people would rather go broke paying for rent than living with their parents, but I value shelter. Warm home, clean bed, hot showers. Plus a house of people to talk to when I go home. Sounds great in my book. So for me, this line on my budget does not affect me.

It's the student loans, car payments, and credit cards bills that are making me juggle. I definitely have to cut unnecessary spending (I sound like the government!) and perhaps keep the plastic at home. Although, I think considering my monthly income and savings, I can do it. It's not that bad. However, I do know of one solution to get me through it.

A RAISE!

#14: Mission Accomplished

2008-01-11T17:00:00.000-08:00

I bought a car today. I wrote a check for $2000. I officially have a credit history.

Oh my goodness. It was surreal.

After the trials and tribulations of my current car situation, I thought that I should start looking for another car. Little did I know that I would drive it home today. I initially went to the dealership to check out a Nissan Altima, only to find that it was last owned by a smoker. Definite deal breaker for me. I even found a couple of cigarette burns in the upholstery. Yikes! I felt a little discouraged after we drove it because it was right in my price range.

Then my dad received a phone call. This gave me the opportunity to wander around the lot and check out the other cars. A blue 2005 Volvo caught my eye. The price wasn't listed, so I just wanted to take a look. Once my dad hung up we were given the keys to check out some other cars. First was a 2004 Infiniti - red. It was pretty with heated leather seats and a 6 CD changer. But something wasn't quite right. Second was the 2005 Volvo - blue. It looked great. Leather seats, remote entry, moonroof, and cup holders! My '86 BMW was greatly lacking any sort of cup holder. I was sold (kind of)!

I went into the office and toyed with the idea of making a purchase. Of course the salesman was more than happy to start running the finances. About 15 minutes later I was signing papers and I had a car! I also learned my credit score, which was great to find out. I'm very happy about that. I'm very pleased and happy about my first big ticket purchase. It's a little scary, but exciting at the same time! Here's to growing up!

And now I have more bills. (Not so exciting) But I have a car!

I believe...

2008-01-10T21:20:00.000-08:00

in The Secret.

As evidenced through this week's trials and errors, I will have only gone to work 3 days this week. This week was my first week back on the job after two weeks of illness and vacation. I'd been out of the office since December 21. It was really nice and refreshing to be off from work, and I had some well-deserved rest. However, when I thought about the prospect of having to return to work, I wasn't exactly ready. I wished I didn't have to go to work. I thought about not having to go to work. I visualized it.

Then I remembered my jury summons clipped to a magnet on the fridge. I also remembered that I had to call in to check if I was to report on Monday morning. Previous times that I have been summoned, I have never had to report. However, this year, in very early 2008, I had to report at 8:30AM to the Superior Courthouse. And thus, my first day back to work never came to be.

I was excused from jury duty service since the courthouse had fulfilled their jury allotments, so I had to go to work on Tuesday. I readied my work bag and laptop for the next day. Tuesday morning I walked out the door forgetting to pick up my laptop bag on the way out. I remembered just as soon as I unlocked my car door. I grabbed the laptop and went to work. As soon as I got to work, I tried to dock the computer, but nothing happened when I tried to turn it on. Dead. I thought that was weird, so I tried to turn it on undocked. Nothing. I made the rounds talking to my coworkers who I had not seen in 2 weeks, and then when the computer still would work for me, I brought it down to the IT guys. After a couple tests, they declared the poor laptop dead. I was left without a computer. I couldn't work the entire morning. Thus, the second day was only half fulfilled.

Wednesday came and went without a problem.

Which brings me to this morning, Thursday, January 10. As I finished my breakfast, I thought to myself, "I don't want to go to work today". I got in my car and headed towards the bridge. It was raining so I turned on my lights and my wipers. When I was on the bridge I noticed that the wipers got noticeably weaker in strength and the radio sounded distorted. As I merged onto 101, my wipers died completely. I knew that I was losing power somehow, but I wasn't sure what was causing it. I was almost at my exit, so I figured if worse came to worse, I could just pull over once off the freeway. Right before the exit ramp, I tried to step on the gas, but there was zero acceleration. I knew that I was definitely not a good sign. I was lucky to be in the right lane, and I was able to pull off to the shoulder before getting stuck in the middle of the freeway on a gray, rainy day.

I went into panic mode, but remained as calm as possible. I called AAA to come tow me. After making the necessary phone calls to all the important people, I waited anxiously for the Tow Truck to show up. When it did, I was towed to the nearest repair shop. I was granted with the bad news that I would have to pay out the nose to the tune of $600. Great. My awesome coworker came to my rescue to take me to the office. Later in the afternoon I called to check if my car was fixed. Why is it that every time there is one thing wrong with a car, there is always something else that is discovered to be a problem? Well, my brakes are allegedly shot. I never experienced any problems in the last few weeks. The auto repair shop gave me an estimate of $790! Too expensive for the sake of my car -- both repairs would cost more than the total amount paid for the car! I drove slowly and cautiously 20 miles to get back home. Paranoid the entire way. But I made it. Later, we took the car to our local "guy" who specializes in European cars. I hope it doesn't cost too much to get the brakes fixed. Otherwise I will start looking for another car.

Since my car is in the shop today, I had to work from home, thus completing my week of not wanting to go into work. Lovely.

So now I need to visualize other things. Like a job for my dad. An increase in salary. A promotion. Healthy eating. Obviously, as evidenced by this week, my visualization skills work. Or, in my mom's words are "spooky".

Motivation, not just another noun.

2008-01-09T15:27:00.000-08:00

Ah motivation. My coworker told me about this website SparkPeople.com which has some great resources and support networks for getting back to a healthy lifestyle and finding your "happy" weight. It's the first website I've seen that's totally free, but provides above average resources.

You enter in your goals and SparkPeople will generate an exercise and meal plan based on your answers. You can modify your goals, fitness, and meal plans as needed. You can read articles about health, fitness, and motivation. There are little quizzes and polls, and interactive activities that keep the site fun. It also has the social networking aspect where you have a "page" where you can describe your goals, your program, and why you joined Spark. You can comment on the pages, post to the message boards, and join groups. As opposed to a social networking site like MySpace - where skanks and child predators play, this site is more inspirational and motivational than any other. I especially enjoy reading success stories.

I'm motivated. Now with the support of three coworkers, we're all embarking on a similar journey. Thanks SparkPeople!

Out of Excuses... onto Happy!

2008-01-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

As my Glamour magazine suggests this month, I want to find my "happy" weight.

I've had a love/hate relationship with food my entire adolescence and into adulthood. In the last year, I've been able to incorporate exercise into my life about 3-4 times a week, which I know is more than most. However, my efforts in the food department have not been as successful. I read about meal plans, study health articles, and have all the intentions of eating healthy. But in one way or another, it never seems to pan out. Sad.

This year is going to be different. I feel it. It's only been eight days into the new year, but I have this vibe that 2008 is going to be life changing and I will be taking major positive strides. Maybe it's because I'm quickly approaching my quarter-life mark and I feel more in control of my life. I'm not sure, but I'm amped up by my 101 in 1001 list. I'm determined and motivated. Plus I'm out of excuses.

I've found someone who loves me, all of me, and in spite of me. That may sound weird, but he accepts me for the complete package. Wacky, silly, crazy, angry, and happy emotions and everything else. I can no longer say that no one will love me because of my size. That was and continues to be proven wrong by my wonderful boyfriend.

I have nowhere to go but forward. I'm changing my life this year!

Magazine Junkie

2008-01-07T13:07:00.001-08:00

I am a self-confessed Magazine Junkie. At least it's not drugs, right?

There's just something about glossy covers, pretty photo spreads, and enticing reads. Usually I can resist buying them off the stand, but here and there - especially at the airport - I tend to succumb to the temptation sitting there, shining under the fluorescent lighting.

My sister had a magazine drive and I felt that this year I could definitely participate. Plus I love magazines and the subscription rate is so much cheaper than off the stand. So I came out ordering Cooking Light - for my new cooking endeavors, Real Simple - because it's pretty and has great tips, I renewed my existing Glamour subscription, and Shape - for my exercise endeavors.

However, my problem is letting go. I'm positive that I have enough old magazines to fill one or two boxes. I know that I will never read them again, but just like letting go of old clothes, it's a much bigger undertaking, and takes a lot of will power. In my goal to sort out things in my bedroom, I will be recycling at least a box of old magazines. If there are articles that I really want to hold on to, I will tear them out and archive them.

Oh it's going to be a great 2008!

#13: Sort and Purge

2008-01-06T21:59:00.000-08:00

I took it upon myself to finally go through everything in my closet and decide what could stay and what had to go. I probably should have let go of more items, but I think that I did pretty well in donating an entire Glad Bag to Goodwill. Someone will be able to get some good use of my nearly unused items.

My mantra for this "sort and purge" activity was to let it go and not turn back. I could hem and haw about whether or not I could wear the item again, but I decided that if I didn't think that I would wear it again, it just had to go, regardless of the "maybe". There are still a couple of items that I should have placed in the "Give Away" pile, but I suppose those will be saved for the next "Sort and Purge" exercise.

It's a very cleansing and therapeutic experience to be able to rid yourself of extra "stuff" and at the same time, my clothes have the potential of helping someone get a job or look great on a date. Who knows.

Here are photos of my endeavor:

Give Away

Keep

Future house warming

2008-01-05T22:28:00.000-08:00

Part of me can't wait until I have a house. I can't wait to decorate. I can't wait to own all the cool stuff. I can't wait to make it my own. It's a sign of independence. It's a sign of "making it".

I've always had an affinity for decorating and makeover shows on HGTV, TLC, and the Style Network. I've scraped ceilings, refinished floors, painted walls, and applied finishes. I love house projects because after all the sweat and hard work, it's well worth all the effort, usually. And yet, after it all, these things have never really been mine. Projects for the family house or a friend. I'm waiting for when I do a project for my own nest.

I also want to beef up my cooking skills and throw fabulous dinner parties. Not in the Emily Gilmore style, but more in the Hostess with the Mostess fashion. I love the blog! I pore over magazines that give party, decoration, and theme suggestions. I think, "I could totally do that!" I just need a place to throw it. And money. Alas, it will come someday.

Mission: hone cooking skills and save for a house!

The sun still shines

2008-01-04T23:19:00.000-08:00

I saw the movie Juno today. It was a cute and poignant look at teenage pregnancy, handled in a palatable and humorous manner. I especially liked the scene in which Juno was talking to her dad about love and the possibility of unconditional love. Her dad says that when you're in love you take the person for the good, the bad, the ugly, the stupid, and at the end of the day they "still think the sun shines out of your ass". Great line.

I think that line rings true in couples who have been together for a long time. How else would they stay together for so long? On so many levels there has to be that compromise at the end of the day. The "honey I love you" and "babe you're the best" statements of affirmation make the big difference. If there aren't those feelings after a disagreement or blowout fight, then there may be trouble brewing. The old saying of "don't go to bed mad" is really important. If there was a way to put a fight on pause or timeout, I think that would be a great tool. Sometimes discussions turn into disagreements or misunderstandings turn into brawls. And sometimes exhaustion sets in before it's all over. Pause would be great. I, myself, haven't experienced the need for the "pause" button, but if I plan for my love to still think the sun shines out of my butt years down the line, I'm going to have to up the ante. I love him, so it's definitely worth it. I believe I'll still be saying that when I'm old and senile.

Serious things make me nervous

2008-01-03T22:58:00.000-08:00

I never realized exactly how nervous serious conversations make me feel. Depending on how serious it is I either try to talk around the subject in order to "get my feet wet" or I get really choked up and sound like I'm going to burst into tears when I finally approach the subject.

Fear stifles.

One of my goals for the year and years to come is to not let fear stifle me. I want to be brave and courageous and bold. I want to face my fears head-on instead of running away and hiding. I'm highly skilled in avoidance and a master in changing the subject. I can ignore the elephant in the room if I really want to.

I will take direction and suggestion from my bestest and "Go ahead and say it" and "Just ask". If there's anyone what I can confide in, it's him. He takes me at my best and worst moments and we still say "I love you" at the end of the day. He's so special to me. However, even with him, I get choked up when I edge towards uncomfortable subjects. So far, in the short time that it's been 2008, I've tackled a couple of lingering issues, and we're still good.

Fear will not stifle me any longer.

Power of Prayer

2008-01-02T23:38:00.000-08:00

I found this old post from what will be two years ago. I think it's still relevant and I am impressed in my own articulation with my struggles in faith.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

This past year, with everything that has happened to me and my family, I've become a stronger believer in the power of prayer. I often used to take prayer for granted, mainly because I was born, raised, and reminded of being Catholic. Being religious. Attending Mass. Praying for the poor, the sick, and the misguided. I never thought it was a big deal. I attended Catholic School throughout my formative years, deliberately choosing to attend a secular university, so I didn't feel compelled to continue a Catholic education. It's not that I ever wanted to renounce my faith; rather I wanted to find it on my own. I didn't want religion and my faith to be a chore. And for all intents and purposes, my first three years of college were used to discover "what else" was out there.

I finally had the choice. Yes, the choice of what classes to take. The choice of what parties to go to. The choice of whether or not to attend Mass. I had the choice, something that is very liberating , especially when you are 18-yrs-old. I think that in spite of my new found freedom, I still made good choices. I wasn't blinded by the prospect of non-stop partying. However, I was enticed with the notion that I could make the decisions about my faith. So for two years, I made the conscious decision to sleep in Sunday mornings. I thought that I would be fine without God in my life, and then I came to my senses.

I wouldn't consider myself a very religious person, although I do attend Mass, and I do pray. Instead, I feel like I have a strong sense of spirituality. I spend a good number of years searching for something to believe in. I was always a good student. I was always a good "kid". I always followed the rules. However, I felt hesitant in the faith department. I never thought I could share these issues with any of my family; I didn't want them to think I had turned atheist or agnostic. I won't deny that I questioned organized religion for some time. I suppose that when you come from an environment where religion is an established component of life, it's difficult to question it and imagine yourself without it. That's probably why I took time in college to explore my secular side. I thought that I could handle myself without a belief system - without God. As I began to become more involved in Kaibigang Pilipino, I surrounded myself with other students of the background I could identify myself with. College-aged. Filipino-American. Questioning. Religious. I became closer friends with those who attended Bible Study. I never really understood what Bible Study was, but I respected my friends for their strong faith in God. And finally, I had the choice about my faith. I chose to explore it. I found a church that I liked. I started attending on my own accord, because I wanted to and I liked it. Since then, I think my faith has grown.

When my aunt was in the hospital in the fall, prayer was my only outlet. I was too far away to visit. I prayed daily when I found out that she had a stroke. I wanted to see her again, and not in a hopsital bed, or worse. I did not want to see another aunt pass. I sent petitions online to the Our Lady of Lourdes site, and Our Lady of Fatima site. (Oh the wonders of the internet). I prayed long and hard, and sent emails to my friends to keep her in their prayers. And she recovered, beautifully. I think all of the good intentions, prayers, and faith were a core component to her recovery. And so, my faith has grown.

Finally, I feel as though my wonderful boyfriend is an answer to my prayers for friendship. I have found someone that I can connect with on so many levels, and who I care for deeply. I never thought that I could be this happy, but I am. I pray about our relationship because we are far apart from each other physically, but otherwise, we are side by side on the same wavelength. We have a little mantra - Hope, Wish, and PRAY. I want us to grow stronger together, with a bond that no distance can sever. He's wonderful. I'm so thankful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'd like to add a few more prayers to the list since this entry.

I want to pray for my dad. He was the victim of an "RIF" or reduction in force and his last day was back in October. I pray that he receives a job offer soon. Any company would be more than lucky to add him to their team. He's been diligently applying to jobs and attending meetings. I know it's just a matter of time.

I want to pray for my sister, for her continued success in high school, acceptance to the college of her choice, and that she grows as a person as she enters the next stage of life as a young adult. I know that she will be great.

I want to pray for my mom. With everything going on - sister in school, dad out of a job, all the while working and pursuing a master's degree - I pray for her success and strength to meet all of life's challenges.

I want to pray for my relationship with my boyfriend. I want us to grow in faith and love together, knowing that what we have is a partnership built on complete trust and steadfast love. I hope that we will someday never have to say, "goodbye" for more than a few days.

I want to pray for my boyfriend's brother as he graduates from college and takes the next big step in life. I hope that he follows God's guidance and finds the path that will bring him success and happiness. I pray that he eliminates any obstacles that are holding him back from accomplishing his goals.

I want to pray for myself. In the coming year, I would like to see self-growth and courage to talk - about myself, my life, and share these things with my family and friends freely. Talking about big issues has always been difficult as I fear conflict. I choose non-confrontational paths as it is the "easy" way out. However, I know that in order to make forward progress, I'll have to suck it up and take a leap of faith. I will not let fear stifle me in 2008.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T21:47:00.000-08:00

Here's to a great 2008!

As of now, I will be consciously working on my 101 in 1001.

I have accomplished a few, which I will document and write about here.

We had a great New Year's Eve at the Cool River Cafe. An awesome date, a fun cover band, and an intimate venue made for a great night out. We've never really been out dancing except for when we first got together, so it was extra fun getting decked out for the evening and dancing the year away. And of course it was fantastic to share the first kiss of the year with my super, wonderful, caring, thoughtful boyfriend. I'm so blessed to have had him in my life since the end of 2005. Goodbye 2007! Hello 2008!

ARK

2007-12-26T00:47:00.001-08:00

Acts of Random Kindness.

I watched Evan Almighty this evening, and if there's anything that I took away from it it's ARK - "acts of random kindness". The opportunity to bring families closer together. The chance to spread some cheer into a person's life. The possibility of being courageous in the face of adversity. Who would have thought that all of that deep thought could have been drawn from Steve Carrell.

I've been in big "reflection mode" especially as the year quickly comes to a close. I have several resolutions, many included in my 101 in 1001, and I really plan on making good on my goals. There's talk and there's action. I want to take the action stance. My goals are of the personal, professional, and social varieties. 2008 is going to be a big year of changes and improvements. I can feel it. I can taste it.

My biggest social goal - as in helping the community type of social - is to work on a Habitat for Humanity Project or something similar. I participated in the Family Giving Tree program at work, and it felt great to be able to help kids who wouldn't normally even get a Christmas gift. I'd like to continue on the road of acts of random kindness.

As for my professional goals, I plan on seeking opportunities to advance my career, internally and externally. I like my manager and enjoy my coworkers, but they can't hold back my progress. I definitely feel like it's time for some growth in responsibility. And satisfaction. And pay.

Finally, as one of my more personal goals, I'm really going to work on talking to my parents about life-changing events. I've been making strides and it's become more comfortable talking about my boyfriend. It's no longer the awkward, "yeah, you know *cough* boyfriend *cough*" and "I'm going to *cough* visit *cough* him this weekend". I think a mutual respect and understanding has been established. Now I'll have to see what their "serious conversation" threshold is. This is the big one.

Give a little. Get a little. Give a little more.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T02:41:00.000-08:00

The big day is here! I will be spending the day (and the coming days) hanging out with my wonderful family. We did our usual Christmas Eve routine - Midnight Mass (although tonight it was at 10) and opening gifts after midnight. The priest delivered a good message - as most Christmas sermons should be - about remembering and sharing the simplicities of life. Sharing love, spreading reconciliation, accepting differences. Everyone can use a little.

My family is unlike any other. They are all so giving and loving, I couldn't ask for a better family. Family is one of those things/concepts/ideas that we can take for granted in an instant. We think, "oh that person will always be there". That's not necessarily the case. Change happens in an instant. I believe that Christmas is the perfect time to tell your loved ones that you do, and continue to, love them.

Saying I love you makes a big difference. I know I get a certain warm fuzzy feeling when someone - my boyfriend, my sister, my parents - tell me that they love me. It's a tiny affirmation that tells me "Hey, you're loved". There are a lot of folks out there that lack love. Whether they are lonely, isolated, alone, or abandoned, there are people who never hear utterance "I love you."

Say I love you. Spread the love.

Merry Christmas!

2007 reflections

2007-12-23T17:41:00.000-08:00

I have an inkling of being on a mini winter break. I have Monday and Tuesday off, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to play hooky the rest of the week. Next week I’m taking vacation time. Two weeks off from work? Sweet!

It’s not that I hate my job. I like it. It works for now. But I’m definitely getting to the point where I need a break from everything. No more bureaucracy. No more stress. No more deadlines. No more fighting fires. Relaxation and spending time with the ones I love. Now that’s what I’m talking about.

I’ve also been busy completing some crochet projects. I just finished putting together this patchwork-like quilt. I was in the middle of completing the 5 ½ hour throw when I misplaced the last of the yarn. It was literally like it disappeared. I must have absent-mindedly carried it away or finished it off without realizing it. But I am pretty convinced that I still had it right in front of me.

I really enjoy crocheting. I used to think that it was an old lady pastime. However, there’s been a major resurgence in yarn crafts. My co-worker is a knitter extraordinaire. She whips out socks and hats like a machine. Her blog and projects can be found here. (www.myowntwosticks.com) I picked up crocheting last winter when my sister started on a scarf. I’ve never been very good with the knitting needles, so I decided to give crocheting a whirl. It was much more my speed. Since then, I’ve cranked out several scarves, and more recently, four blankets and I’m working on two more scarves for gifts. It’s therapeutic and can be done while sitting in front of the TV.

I’m planning a serious overhaul come the beginning of the year. New diet, new discipline, new organization. I was inspired by the “101 in 1001” and I’m going to make a concerted effort to get to those 101 things. Starting with purging my closet. Then changing and sticking to an eating plan. And an exercise plan. Plus, I am going to make a concerted effort on the next milestone in life.

My 101 in 1001

2007-12-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

Well, I suppose I will kick some new life into this blog with a goal-oriented entry. I came across an intriguing entry on the Blue Orchid Designs blog about 101 goals to complete in the next 1001. I figure that it’s the end of the year and almost the start of 2008, so my 1001^st day should drop right around September 15, 2010, since it will be another leap year soon.

I feel extremely lucky that I’ve been able to do some of the things that most people only dream of doing. Graduating from college, living in France, backpacking across Europe, fluency in two languages, to name a few. I think I’m going to post things that can be accomplished in the next 1001 days. I’m looking forward to crossing something off the list!

Here it goes:

blog everyday for a month
learn how to cook and ease kitchen anxiety
learn how to use Digital SLR to its full potential
take better photos
post photos consistently on Flickr
go to the gym at least four days a week for a month
try a new class at 24Hour Fitness
search for other job possibilities
meet my boyfriend’s friends
learn full potential of Photoshop
move out of parents’ house
organize my bedroom
clean out my closet and donate unwanted clothes to Goodwill
purchase new or “previously owned” car
have my friends meet his friends
explore major cities – Atlanta, Chicago, Washington DC, Seattle, Denver
spend time in New York City
practice taking more portrait photos
crochet a beanie for the boyfriend
learn how to surf, even for a split second
go to Vegas as an adult
go wine tasting, I do live close enough to Napa & Sonoma!
take a cake decorating class
design logo for future business
take a ballroom dancing class
move out to Texas to be with boyfriend
schedule annual physicals
remember to have car oil changed
have extended family meet boyfriend
set aside money to donate to charity of choice
participate in Habitat for Humanity Project
look into the possibilities to PMP my job (Project Management Professional)
get engaged, and have legitimate reason to read wedding magazines like Brides, Martha Stewart Weddings, The Knot, etc.
shadow a professional photographer
buy a house
design personal stationery
decorate said house and give it sense of style
finish painting room
take a cooking class
read at least one book a month
go to the library more often
go to Hawaii and reclaim summer color
document my 101 goals as completed
plan fantastic wedding on my terms
complete my first quilt project – already bought the fabric!
go to the Philippines during Christmastime to visit family
cook semi-fancy romantic dinner for self and boyfriend. from scratch, without killing or making us sick
build photo portfolio
visit the New England during the fall
buy a new computer and Adobe Design bundle
as a complement to completion of #33 and #44, apply to be a Bee J
go on a cross-country road trip
learn more on the fundamentals of photography
ride my bike around the park
go on daily walks when the weather is nice
lose 20lbs... if they can do it on Biggest Loser, I can too!
start cooking own meals to make good on goal #56
visit best friend in Italy while still stationed there
return to Lyon for Fete des Lumieres
write a journal entry everyday for a month
keep a food journal consistently also in efforts to make good on #56
make a pair of earrings (or more)
clean out wallet and purse... rogue receipts be gone!
spend the holidays with boyfriend’s family
send out Christmas cards with photos of us

I enjoy crafty things

2007-12-14T00:14:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd admit how much I enjoy Martha Stewart's ideas. But this is now the second time I have in this blog. I have to admit, she's got some good ideas. Things that make me think "wow, now that's a great idea!". I'm not sure what to call this. Marthastewartideaitis?

I'm not quite at the point of crafting up the wazoo every evening, trying out every idea or recipe I see. However, I have been in the middle of quite a few projects. Over the last few weeks, I've completed 3-4 crochet projects, purchased fabric to make a quilt, and decoupaged. It's just so much fun. And I can't wait to do more. If money and time were no object, I would need a bigger space to live in for sure.

I'm hoping that with all the ideas that I've gathered and saved on the handy-dandy Martha Stewart website, as well as daily/weekly perusals of WeddingBee, Blue Orchid Designs, and TheKnot, that I will be able to plan a great budget wedding. I know I shouldn't even be thinking about that yet, but, hey, a girl can dream about it. It's my prerogative. I'm not yet a full-fledged DIY gal, but I've done enough home improvement and mini craft projects, that the transition should be a snap.

I guess I'm just really worried about how much it will cost to pull off a wedding. I've seen those shows on WE -- Bridezillas, Rich Bride Poor Bride, Platinum Weddings, etc. The fact that there are a lot of sources that claim that you can't have a wedding for less than $10K seems ludicrous, but at the same time perfectly believable. What with the price of a gallon of gas? I'm persevering towards a budget of that $10K or less. I guess I will cross that bridge when I get there.

2007

2007-12-09T22:45:00.001-08:00

2007 is nearly over. The holidays are in full swing with full-time Christmas carols jamming the radio waves since before Thanksgiving. The hustle and bustle of shopping madness and non-stop "one-day" sales overwhelm us. Cookie exchanges and holiday parties and luncheons threaten our year-long efforts to keep our figures. And yet, we go through the motions and apprehensions and joyous moments year after year. Those are the holidays I suppose.

Amidst the insanity that the holiday time can become, I love it all. I love the smell of freshly baked goodies. I love the challenge of finding the perfect gift. I love the holiday themed movies and TV specials that seemingly preempt regularly scheduled shows. I love the giving spirit that everyone, or most everyone seems to possess.

It's been an interesting 2007. I can't wait to see what 2008 will bring.