Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent, the 40 day-long season of fasting and reflection.
The day started off pretty well, with the normal routine, breakfast, commute, work. Then something out of the ordinary happened. My friend gave me a call, hoping to meet up for coffee. Since I had not seen her since November, I thought, "Why not?" I set off quickly after lunchtime, planning to meet her at Peet's Coffee at the base of the hill from work. I made it to the coffee shop, only to find that she wasn't there. I received a buzz to find out that she was still at the dealership, ironing out why her car wouldn't start with a brand new battery. I offered to drive to her, only a 10 minute drive. Well, on my way, after exiting the freeway, I was stopped at the corner, right in front of a gas station. Then, WHAM. I was confused at first, and then I realized what happened when I saw the woman behind me in my rearview mirror. She was flipping out. She had rear-ended me.
We pulled into the gas station, and I got out of the car for damage control. Luckily there was no cosmetic damage. However, considering that I had purchased the car less than a month prior, I was livid. Then I assessed the state of the woman who hit me. Late thirties, early forties. Orangy-blond hair. Wrinkles. And she seemed pretty dazed. All she could say was, "I'm so sorry" and "But look there's nothing wrong!" I immediately stopped her to say, "YOU HIT MY CAR". Then she blurted the words, "I don't have insurance." Great. Fantastic. Way to improve my day. Then she said, "Can I have your phone number, I will call you, this will have to come out of pocket." I didn't really care where the money came from, but I did want reimbursement if there was damage done to my car. I asked her promptly for her phone number. Stupidly, I got distracted. I tried to call the number she gave me to make sure it worked. She did seem like she was either on some kind of drug or soon to be violently ill. She looked like she was about to pass out. Of course, I didn't have a pen on me. So the next best thing was my business card. In the jumble of actions that took place, she sped off while I was looking for something and then I drove away with only a phone number -- no name, license plate, or license number. Super.
I was so upset afterwards. I was mad that my car had been hit. I was mad that she didn't have insurance. I was mad that she probably was never going to call me and I was never going to find her. My friend called, and I told her what happened. I was ready to blame her, tell that if I stayed at Peet's none of this would have happened. When I finally met up with her, we sat in my car, lamenting and processing what had happened. Car accidents seem to have this weird way of shaking you up beyond what you ever thought you felt.
Later that evening, I attended the Ash Wednesday service to receive my ashes. I listened the homily from Fr. Jeff -- talking about how our sacrifices should have a positive impact, and yet also really be a sacrifice to where it really is a challenge. That made me think about all the things that I can be thankful for. Then I thought about what had happened and reflected -- I should be happy that it wasn't a bigger accident. I should be happy that I wasn't hurt. I should be happy that it was a tiny ding and realize that a car is just a material (though important) possession.
This Ash Wednesday, not only being much earlier than usual, has been different. I haven't set any firm sacrifices beyond giving up the snooze button and fast food. The snooze button is a sacrifice if you are me and rely on hitting it at least three times before waking up. I'm going to try and let things that anger me go and find more inner peace (I've been reading a lot of Body+Soul a la Martha Stewart). And recently, I've become more and more a believer that everything happens for a reason. The cosmic balance and karma and chi. I hope the next 40 days prove to be a learning experience.
