If you're going on a break...

...you may as well BREAK UP!

Personally, I believe that if you say you want to "go on a break" with your SO/BF/GF, the relationship just bought itself a one-way ticket to Splitsville. I don't really understand the point of "taking a break". I suppose it's a way of easing the escape route. But doesn't it just make it harder when you actually want to break up?

Take the now "classic" example of Ross and Rachel on Friends. I think at this point, David Schwimmer's character has immortalized the words, "But we were on a break!" The idea of "going on a break" also has the male/female dichotomy of thought and understanding. Women understand it one way. Men another. Like Ross, on Friends, he thought that going on a break meant that seeing other people (and consequently sleeping with other people), was permissible during a break. Well, he was sorely mistaken.

I know of a few couples who have done the "break" thing. The success rate of them renewing their relationship? 25% Perhaps my sample size is too small. On the other hand, I don't think that it's too far from the truth. Usually, if the two parties agree to take the break, one of the parties may want out. Or both. In any case, why keep torturing yourself, and why not move on? And I don't buy the "But I love him" because clearly "he" doesn't love you back. And he won't three months from now. Or she won't two years from now.

I have never read Greg Behrendt's second book It's Called a Breakup because it's Broken, but the title resonates with me from my experience with friends. I don't think I need to read it, but I'm sure there are many out there who could benefit from a swift kick to the head with this book. If you're one of those people, BREAK UP ALREADY!


**photo from overdrive.dclibrary.org**